What Happens if You Eat a Whole Head of Lettuce?

This is harder than it sounds. For brunch yesterday morning I did just that- I ate a whole lettuce. Why? Because there is a rumour that it takes more joules of energy to eat lettuce than the calories that it contains. It takes one joule of energy to burn one calorie of fat, so in theory you should be able to lose weight by eating more lettuce. Right?

Not exactly, it seems. I had the bright (read: ridiculous) idea of attempting to eat ten heads of lettuce in order to lose weight. So, how did it work?

First, it took a LOT longer than I'd expected to eat. Eating lettuce is a much slower process than I'd imagined. Second, lettuce loses its non-taste after a few mouthfuls and turns quite sour. Third, it doesn't do your stomach much good. Fourth, after thirty minutes of chewing it starts to give you jaw-ache.

It took five minutes to eat the first third of the lettuce, but a further forty to get to the end of said head.

It took thirty-nine minutes for me to realise I'd forgotten something before I ate it.

It turns out that lettuce is a stomach expander, which will make me hungrier. And may give me rickets. Fail.

In short, it was a terrible idea. But hey, I'm full of them. At least I got a healthy dose of vitamin A and Betacarotine (which is a form of vit A itself). Best to eat a little lettuce often, along with a bit of super-food greenery like spinach and watercress.

And then, at 41:00, the reveal. You're welcome.