Come check out the new History club

This is a message he has for your people: "you are history!" Fucking history.

-Gold Tooth, Predator 2

New club History has opened on Longworth St behind Deansgate, in the unit that once housed Suede and Ampersand. It is of course the duty of Manchester Cool Bars to go check it out! We're there Saturday night, so don't hesitate and get involved with the Meetup. We're starting in nearby Impossible on Peter St.

Last week's grand opening saw Emmerdale's Gemma Atkinson, Bury model Rhian Sugden (who will be on the next season of Celebrity Big Brother), Coronation St's Brooke Vincent and Jimmi Harkishin partying there. Next week- who knows, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of the attendees are Twitter verified. Come with us and find out.

Back on Android at Long Last

Where my Android fans at? Goddamn, I've missed this platform. My 2 and a bit excruciating years on a Windows phone are over, and I'm now the proud user of a Sony Xperia X. I'm in the process of figuring out all the admin for it- passwords, downloading apps, finding a decent screen cover- but most importantly, looking for note taking systems for memory difficulties.

It's my intention to highlight a few hints and tips for people with these conditions, people like me, who would benefit from information about such apps and techniques. I've downloaded ColorNote, but this lacks some of the features provided by Microsoft's OneNote, like the automated lifting of new and altered notes to the top of the screen. Vice versa, OneNote allows the inclusion of pictures within the text, a feature lacking on ColorNote.

So what else is there?

There are a variety of apps available like those listed on advice site Make Use Of, listing programs which offer various features. I'm quite keen on the ability to list notes in importance order and insert pictures into bodies of text. Omninotes certainly sounds like a good shout.

It's early days and I've not even transferred my number across but this is something I'd like to write more about as the weeks go on, so keep checking back for #psychologysaturdays blog posts, and comment if you have any other good finds on memory assistance and organisation apps!

Surprise surprise...

...a cockney wide-boy with a dodgy haircut won Love Island. Not at all like last year, then?

Well, it's over now, and we should probably all get back to the real world. And what is there?

The Warehouse Project has released their 2017 lineup: There's a good handful of decent names, so there's a possibility that some of these nights may end up on Meetup. You'll have to check as the weeks go on. Quite keen on seeing Route 94 myself.

New club History launches on Saturday, in the Longworth St unit that previously housed Suede and Ampersand. I'm tied that night, but expect a night out there to appear on Manchester Cool Bars soon. Be ready to join!

Grit and Glamour launch in Neighbourhood

A new season started in Neighbourhood this week with Thursday night's Grit and Glamour launch. The Spinningfields bar's new touches include a vibrant graffiti-style mural and some blazing neon signage. I went with Manchester Cool Bars to take a look. Great house music, friendly people including many promoters from other nights, and a very drunk Adam Jukes from Love Island season 2, who insisted on telling me I was 'a nice guy.' His words, not mine. HE was the nice guy. I was the celebrity-pesterer.

Tom DaLips and Kami C livened up the house music with awesome sax and bongo accompaniment.

It's well worth popping back in to see the new fit.

Goin' Loco Down in, Um, Manchester.

God, my head is pounding. I eat way too late on Mondays. Anyway. The main event this week is on a Friday. Manchester Cool Bars are headed to Loco, Club LIV's Friday night party. All the class of a Saturday without the huge prices. I've not been on a Friday in ages, but the pictures from previous events- and the drinks deals- are tempting me in. How about you?

STOP PRESS: I met Dom and Jess from Love Island.

I will allow you a moment to come to terms with that. Uber-famous stars of groundbreaking high-art docu-drama Love Island S3, Dom Lever and Jess Shears dropped into Voodoo  Birdcage Manchester, on Wednesday Night. It was a bit of a rushed meet with a large queue, but they seemed cool. I didn't have time to ask them who they think would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger, as gossip E-mag Popbitch so frequently wants to know.

I downloaded this pic fast as photos from clubs sometimes seem to disappear for some reason.

After I'd been up to meet them I got talking to some young bloke who'd been in the queue ahead of me.

“I just said to her," he said, "'I tear the head off over you.'” He made the international wanking sign. She'd apparently responded by flexing her little finger in a 'small cock' gesture.

Great night, although the club could do with a bit of air con.

Minor subject change here, but doesn't home secretary Amber Rudd look like Francine from American Dad?

Well- I've done it. I've told O2 to do one.

I've told extortionists O2 that I've got a phone and I'm ending my contract. It's not exactly true.

My contract will end on the 28th, and I STILL have no replacement phone, but I've at least homed in on a few handsets- the Xperia XA Ultra, the Xperia C4 and the Samsung Galaxy J7.

The cameras are hugely important when you have memory difficulties. Pictures hold memories that you otherwise wouldn't have, and when a lot of your life's most interesting moments happen in darkened clubs, it's necessary to have a decent light on front and back cameras. It turns out that the light I've seen pour out of Android and iPhone screens are actually downloadable apps that light up the display in white. This changes everything.

Generally speaking, most advisers with knowledge of memory difficulties (i.e. NHS neuropsychology and head injury charity Headway) will tell you to stick with what you know. Before I got this ridiculous Windows phone, I'd been on Android for four and a half years. Making that change was an impulsive mistake, and I believe that it's now vitally important to go back to Android, where I had comparatively few problems.

It's taking way too long to choose. I'm reminded of Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography Total Recall, where he advises acting impulsively to move forward in your life.

Don’t overthink. If you think all the time, the mind cannot relax. The key thing is to let both the mind and the body float. And then when you need to make a decision or hit a problem hard, you’re ready with all of your energy.

By not analyzing everything, you get rid of all the garbage that loads you up and bogs you down. Turning off your mind is an art. It’s a form of meditation.

That said, I acted impulsively 2 years ago and ended up with a phone and contract that I was locked into that was completely inappropriate, and cost me a friendship with the person who worked at Carphone Warehouse. So, nothing's black and white.

However, the Ultra was a handset I picked out some weeks ago. After deliberation and looking at loads of other phones, it's still one of the best options. And considering I've been advised to stick to what I know, I may as well go for the Ultra.

Don't overthink!

Come Meet Love Island's Dom and Jess in The Birdcage

International life-long uber-couple Dom and Jess, from highbrow romantic entertainment show Love Island, make an appearance in the esteemed and high class venue of The Birdcage this Wednesday.

Also: Sarcasm. But they will be there the night after tomorrow, and Manchester Cool Bars are going to take a look at Voodoo, The Birdcage's midweek party. If you fancy a not-so-early midweek night out, come meet me and whoever else joins up.

Also, if you're feeling outrageous, why not do the double and come to Socialite at Club LIV the following night? Cool Bars are again heading there for the standard Thursday night. Aforementioned couple Dom and Jess were there last week. Who knows who'll be there this time around!

Really Fucking Obvious Rules for Living

Alchemist later. New haircut. You know what that means.

A post shared by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on Jul 7, 2017 at 12:10pm PDT

I'm nearly 35, and in my time I've made some hideous mistakes. I've also seen plenty of other people make similar, and sometimes different, errors of judgement themselves. Sometimes I don't have the heart to tell people what it is they're doing wrong, so perhaps making a general blog post about this would point a few of my friends in the right direction. Hopefully it'll help a few others too. You might think that some of these points, as the title suggests, don't need to be written out, but you might be surprised how many people don't do what I've listed below. I have no qualification to dispense this advice other than, as Baz Luhrmann would say, 'my own meandering experience.'

1. Listen. A conversation between two people should be 50% talking, 50% LISTENING. Don't waffle, but don't sit there in silence either.
2. Treat people like you'd like to be treated. Don't be a dick. Having the banter is one thing, but don't go overboard and make enemies for yourself.
3. Trust your instincts. If a person seems like an arsehole, they probably are. Steer clear of them. Don't wait for proof of this. Many of us may have spent a long time in education, university or what have you, where we're asked to back up our findings with examples. This can develop a pragmatic mindset, which isn't always helpful when you're dealing with people. Don't forget your gut. You don't need to explain why you're sacking someone off to the person you're ditching, any mutual friends, or yourself.
4. Do what you're good at. Stick to your strengths. If you don't know what your strengths are, go for careers advice for testing. Remember: psychometric testing isn't really testing. It's just a questionnaire. A test requires working something out. But this will show a general breakdown of your skills, and areas you should probably steer clear of.
5. Look after your mental health. If you have a problem: a learning difficulty, a physiological issue, an addiction etc.- see a doctor. Step on it now. Don't wait for the problem to build. If one GP doesn't help you, try another. Don't give up.
6. Your leisure time is your own. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Don't worry about people taking it personally. Embrace criticisms of snobbery. It's okay to say, “Sorry, that's not my kind of thing.”
7. Don't look for arguments. That's not how to build friendships. Don't be inflammatory to start conversations. Remember, political discussion will cause more fallouts than bondings.
8. Take that chip off your shoulder. Nobody cares how hard you think you are. There's no point trying to act like a bad man. It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for, most people will tell you, and the majority of people I've seen get filled in- or get arrested for fighting- were the ones ballooning and looking for a fight in the first place. Looking for trouble gets you nothing but that.
9. Have a plan for where you want to get to in life, and act on it today. Don't meander through your career and decades of your life. If you're unsure of how to start this plan, see point 4).
10. Look after your body. You only get one. Look for other things to enjoy than junk food, and you won't miss it so much. Exercise should also be fun. Don't go to the gym unless you enjoy it. If you don't, take up something else.

A month to 35

11 months ago I wrote this: A list of things to do before my 35^th birthday. I've not looked at it in a while, so let's recap. How far have I got so far?

1. Learn shorthand. I spent a month on this. Should probably go back to learning as it's HARD and I learned only a few basic strokes.
2. Citizen journalism. Spent a month on this, found a few things, spoke to a journalist about a fight I filmed outside a club. Hardly revolutionised the blogosphere, but I did what I planned on.
3. Get the blog to be more than what it is. Not sure I managed that. I'm enjoying blogging and attending the events that result in the blog posts, but I could do with moving things on further.
4. I've not even looked at my screenplay. Whoops.
5. I'm in a better position in work- a different office, with better work. Same employer and wage.
6. I still have no visible abs and am heavier than ever. Shit. I will try again over the next month.
7. I'm a little more confident. I'm on prescription medication for this, have found a confidence building group that is genuinely helping, and can feel myself getting to where I want to be. I'm absolutely buzzing.
8. I'm still renting. Oh well.
9. I travelled a little. Berlin had its ups and downs- mostly downs, if I'm to be honest- and aside from UK trips to Newcastle and Sheffield, there's been no excursions. No-one's got money to come with me, so I'm sticking to Manchester.
10. Aside from Opus One, which is just for the hotel guests as far as I can tell, I've done all the bars and clubs on the list. It's been fun. Well, some of them were a bit turd, tbh. The restaurants I'll look into later, when they're on Groupon. I'm too tight otherwise, and so is everyone else.

Within the next month, I'll change a few of these.

Touch typing record breaker

How fast can I type? Well, I can tell you. 43 words per minute, according to Mavis Bacon Typing Tutor. My employer allowed me to download this and give it a shot as part of my training.

A couple of years ago, outside of work, I spent a couple of months learning touch typing using Klavaro, another free package. At that time, my PB was 40.9, so before this project even started, I smashed it. Now my intention is to go back to Klavaro and just to beat 43.0. How long will it take just to nudge this up? Maybe only a day. We will see.

Cocktails in the Alchemist! UFC! Get Involved!

I felt like crap last night. Stomach and head all over the place. So, after eating a third of a plated up dinner, I went to bed.

A long sleep sorted me out. I'm now back on form and ready to tell you about the upcoming week, a day late. But before I do, did you hear Classic FM's Tim Lihoreau  read out my text message last Thursday? What do you mean, no?!

He asked us what alternative Apple products may be in existence- the i-screme van, the i-socoles triangle, etc. I sent in, 'Apple invented a mountain goat apparently. Can't wait for the new ibex to come out.' I'm funny enough to get on national radio before I've even got out of bed!

I've got a couple of awesome nightlife events for you. Friday night: Manchester Cool Bars heads to Spinningfields Alchemist for a night of crazy cocktails, concocted with Bunsen burners and a whole range of juices, alcohol and spices. The queues might not be so bad on a Friday, so join us from 10 and try out their range. Also: hot people and house music.

Saturday night I don't have much on until the wee hours, but from 3am onwards I'll be in Genting Casino watching the champion, the Lionheart Amanda Nunes take on The Bullet Valentina Schevchenko at UFC 213. If you fancy extending your night out for a few hours of explosive MMA action, come meet me in the Portland St venue. The Meetup is here, so RSVP if you're up for staying out late. It'll be worth it.

Point Omega

The Omega Point is a spiritual belief and a scientific speculation that everything in the universe is fated to spiral towards a final point of "divine" unification. The term was coined by the French Jesuit Catholic priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881–1955).

-Wikipedia

Goddamn. Don DeLillo does it again. His shortest novel, featuring a filmmaker and a secret war adviser basically musing over the state of the world, starts slow, but ends tragically. I'm hella jealous of DeLillo's ability to carve the perfect phrasing to create just the atmosphere needed, even when nothing much is happening in the story. Read this book.