Really Fucking Obvious Rules for Living

Alchemist later. New haircut. You know what that means.

A post shared by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on Jul 7, 2017 at 12:10pm PDT

I'm nearly 35, and in my time I've made some hideous mistakes. I've also seen plenty of other people make similar, and sometimes different, errors of judgement themselves. Sometimes I don't have the heart to tell people what it is they're doing wrong, so perhaps making a general blog post about this would point a few of my friends in the right direction. Hopefully it'll help a few others too. You might think that some of these points, as the title suggests, don't need to be written out, but you might be surprised how many people don't do what I've listed below. I have no qualification to dispense this advice other than, as Baz Luhrmann would say, 'my own meandering experience.'

1. Listen. A conversation between two people should be 50% talking, 50% LISTENING. Don't waffle, but don't sit there in silence either.
2. Treat people like you'd like to be treated. Don't be a dick. Having the banter is one thing, but don't go overboard and make enemies for yourself.
3. Trust your instincts. If a person seems like an arsehole, they probably are. Steer clear of them. Don't wait for proof of this. Many of us may have spent a long time in education, university or what have you, where we're asked to back up our findings with examples. This can develop a pragmatic mindset, which isn't always helpful when you're dealing with people. Don't forget your gut. You don't need to explain why you're sacking someone off to the person you're ditching, any mutual friends, or yourself.
4. Do what you're good at. Stick to your strengths. If you don't know what your strengths are, go for careers advice for testing. Remember: psychometric testing isn't really testing. It's just a questionnaire. A test requires working something out. But this will show a general breakdown of your skills, and areas you should probably steer clear of.
5. Look after your mental health. If you have a problem: a learning difficulty, a physiological issue, an addiction etc.- see a doctor. Step on it now. Don't wait for the problem to build. If one GP doesn't help you, try another. Don't give up.
6. Your leisure time is your own. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Don't worry about people taking it personally. Embrace criticisms of snobbery. It's okay to say, “Sorry, that's not my kind of thing.”
7. Don't look for arguments. That's not how to build friendships. Don't be inflammatory to start conversations. Remember, political discussion will cause more fallouts than bondings.
8. Take that chip off your shoulder. Nobody cares how hard you think you are. There's no point trying to act like a bad man. It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for, most people will tell you, and the majority of people I've seen get filled in- or get arrested for fighting- were the ones ballooning and looking for a fight in the first place. Looking for trouble gets you nothing but that.
9. Have a plan for where you want to get to in life, and act on it today. Don't meander through your career and decades of your life. If you're unsure of how to start this plan, see point 4).
10. Look after your body. You only get one. Look for other things to enjoy than junk food, and you won't miss it so much. Exercise should also be fun. Don't go to the gym unless you enjoy it. If you don't, take up something else.