Cycling and The Acid House

Yesterday I used some Annual Leave to do a little endurance work at the gym. And by 'a little,' I mean 11 hours. And yes, I am now struggling to walk.

Prior to this I'd picked up a copy of Irvine Welsh's The Acid House, a short story anthology. Anthologies are great for endurance as you can take a break between each story. (I did sit-ups in the breaks for active recovery.) Here's how it went down:

10am (ish): got into the gym and warmed up on cross trainer. Did 5 mins or so on abs.

10:21: got on the bike, read the introduction and first story, Shooter, a hitman tale with a good end twist. 25 mins.

Remembered to weigh myself. 13'7'2 (annoyingly the scales were on imperial and I couldn't see how to move it to metric. Most online converters won't show you conversions to the ounce. It's probably 88kg dead on. It's the heaviest I've ever been.

10:53: Eurotrash. An affair in Amsterdam with an unusual twist. 42 mins.

11:45: Stoke Newington Blues, a tense story about busted junkies in custody. 18 mins.

12:14: Vat '96. A short scene with a severely incapacitated friend. Humorous but uncomfortable read. 7 mins.

12:30: A Soft Touch. A bit of a pointless love triangle between 3 nutters. 15 mins.

12:54: The Last Resort on the Adriatic. A widower has an affair on a cruise ship; it ends darkly. 16 mins.

13:20: Sexual Disaster Quartet. 4 funny sex vignettes. 3 mins.

13:31: Snuff. The title gives the end away, but there are 2 parts of the story that felt like loose ends. 17 mins.

14:00: Blockage in the System. Literally titled story of a drainage worker visiting a block of flats. I perhaps missed the point. 5 mins.

14:17: Wayne Foster. A vignette featuring a barman and 2 women, where nothing happens. 10 mins.

14:34: Where the Debris Meets the Sea. An entertaining experimental piece featuring 3 well-known movie stars, speaking like they're, to put it bluntly, slags from Leith. They're fantasising about leaving Hollywood behind for the glamour of the Scottish town. Sort of a mirror to reality, in reverse. Or something. 9 mins.

14:50: Granny's Old Junk. A young hoodlum visits his elderly relative. Another good end twist, and possibly the best story in the series. 9 mins.

15:06: The House of John Deaf. A weird story about a guy who never went to school and had hundreds of pet mice roaming his living room. 11 mins.

15:24: Across the Hall. An interesting pair of stories, formatted in columns alongside each other, featuring 2 narrators in unrequited love. The stories didn't read straight across the page too, which would have been some feat. I wouldn't have put it past Welsh, though. 5 mins.

15:38: Lisa's Mum Meets the Queen Mum. Weird, and a little bland tale of a Royal visit. 3 mins.

15:50: The Two Philosophers. A fun story of 2 philosophy lecturer toffs getting into a fistfight. Kinda reminded me of this fight scene from the first Bridget Jones movie.  18 mins.

16:15: Disnae Matter. A funny Disleyland scene. 5 mins.

16:27: The Granton Star Cause. A failing footballer is turned into a fly, and watches his parents have incredibly kinky sex. Then gets swatted. Good end twist. 25 mins.

17:08: Snowman Building Parts for Rico the Squirrel. A weird, quaint family story with a foul-mouthed rodent. 10 mins.

17:27: Sport for All. Rugby and football fans face off in a pub. Narrated by an arsehole. (Football fan, suffice to say.) Entertaining. 5 mins.

17:39: The Acid House. A Scottish teenager, overdosing on ecstasy, is hit by lightning whilst being taken to hospital in an ambulance. His consciousness is transferred to a newborn baby. Fascinatingly dirty story. 27 mins.

18:18: A Smart Cunt: A Novella. Okay, I was very tired by this point. The final story is a long one, with numerous chapters, and I powered through it in one go. I didn't quite follow it. A Park warden gets high and shags and fights his way around Scotland. Brutally violent and full of shocking revelations. I struggled to follow it at this point. 120 mins.

I finished just before the gym closed, after 11 hours of graft. I weighed myself on exit: 85.7kg (13'7). So I lost a little over 2 kilos, which I've probably immediately put back on by rewarding myself with a chicken dupiaza and Peshwari naan.

This was not a successful venture. I do have another idea for an endurance project, but it doesn't involve reading. The book, although a mixed bag, was great.