Let’s Fit Back Into These Suits

 

This photo of X-Factor's Goldie Cheung and I, taken in May 2018, appears to be the last photo of me in a full suit.

Over the last few years, I found myself on a course of antidepressants. I came off these some months ago, having received a lot of other NHS treatment, and am in a somewhat better place now. However, I’m still dealing with the medication’s side effects. 

Mirtazapine, along with a few other drugs of this ilk, are known to increase appetite. It’s well-documented, but something I didn’t realise until I was already on it. By the time I decided I was better off not taking them, it was already early 2020 and the UK was in lockdown. I decide it best to stay the course until restrictions were lifted. 

I waited until early 2022 to come down to half dose. When I did, it took several months to exhaust the supplies I had, but I saw no drop in mood- only a drop in appetite, weight and - in the early days - sleep. I’d ballooned up to 90kgs. My weight had been steadily climbing since I moved out of my parents’ place in 2010. I was 68kgs then, but the weight gain accelerated after my first dose of Sertraline. 

Several dieting projects later, and free from antidepressants, my weight dropped further, but I still can’t fit into these bastard 30” waist suits. I’m somewhere between 74-75kg. I was just above 73 a few days ago. There’s a small issue of me carrying a lot more muscle than I did 12 years ago. 

But now is the right time to burn off the fat around the midriff and get back into my suit trousers. I mentioned when I turned 40, this was a challenge I wanted to undertake. Stay the course. Eat clean. Fight the cravings (hence this is a psychological issue, as is all dieting). Do the physical graft, focussing on endurance and body weight exercises, as opposed to lifting heavier. Lose the weight. I bet I can wear 30” trousers in a month’s time.