Should You Make Friends Out of the Mental Health Community?

Dark... and deep. Man.

With roughly 1 in 4 people suffering from poor mental health every year in the UK (source: Mind.org), and with mental health now being a much more talked about subject than in previous years, it's now easier than ever for people to find assistance when things start to bring them down.

That isn't to say it isn't a challenge to step forward and meet people who also face their conditions head-on: the first step through the door to your chosen support group will always be the hardest. Having been a long-term member of at least three groups, I've seen that hesitancy, and that plunge head-first into a challenging social situation, in myself and others many times. The feeling that people know, by you walking into that room and approaching that organiser, that you have 'some issues,' as some might put it, puts more pressure on you than anything before.

But you'll quickly realise you're not that different from anyone else there: that your issues make up a part of you. They aren't all of you, nor are they all of anyone else. You're a regular bunch of guys and girls who happen to be- for the most part privately- dealing with their insecurities.

Before long, though, there will be moments when people will open up about their problems- not only in the group, but through group chats and private social media pages. These can be updated 24/7, and you'll be alerted via your phone while you're asleep, while you're at work, while you're at a family gathering. It might feel at times like there's no escape from the collective trauma.

But is there? You can mute Whatsapp and Facebook conversations, but not Facebook group updates. It's likely that these pages are private and only viewable for those who are invited, but there is a trick you can do to distance yourself from these, without deleting the whole app. On Facebook, If a post is getting a lot of comments and your phone is buzzing away, go to said post. Look for the three dots in the top right and click 'Turn off notifications for this post.' That way you don't get alerted when people continue that conversation, and you can go back to it at your leisure and give an encouraging comment when you're not so busy or overwhelmed.

All of the above may be helpful, but remember that there is more to your social time than the mental health community. Yes, they are here to help, but we all have friends and relatives outside of these circles who also deserve our time. Remember, also, that many people attend mental health support groups specifically because they have no money. That's a major cause of depression. So they aren't going to come out and do anything with you. If you don't have those other friends, making new friends is now easier than ever. You've already joined the support groups; why not join some other groups? Take up a new hobby. Join a dance class. Attend an art group.

Myself, I did a few of these things- different classes and creative writing performances, in my case- but ended up using the Meetup.com website to attend nights out and meet the friends that I now see regularly.

Meetup allows you to see what's happening in your area for you to join in, events purposefully put in place so people can meet new people. There are other similar platforms, but this one has helped me the most. This past week I can see that there's been a night of standup comedy, an introduction to 'bullet journaling,' drawing and printing, meditation at a Buddhist Centre, an afternoon of board games and a 'plogging' trip along a canal (jogging and picking up litter, a voluntary cleaning initiative), to name a few. These are a few examples from the Manchester area. The site is used worldwide, so no matter where you are there's likely to be a Meetup presence (if you're reading this, at least).

The point is, the MH community is there to help your life, not to become it. Yes, make your friends there, of course. But variety is key.