Saturday 29 December 2018

I am not getting on with Citalopram.


At the end of September I mentioned I'd switched meds from Sertraline to Citalopram, both antidepressants.

I wasn't feeling much of an effect from the former, so I moved to the latter. After what I now realise is a quarter of a year, and after changing the times of ingestion from midday to the morning, I decided to let my prescription run out.

I didn't feel much of a lift from Citalopram either, but what I did feel was very tired. I'm constantly falling asleep at weird times, struggling to keep my eyes open in work, and feeling a lack of motivation to go to the gym. Hence, earlier this week I decided to book another GP appointment.

The earliest they can fit me in is Saturday 12th January. Half a fucking month away.

The advantage of this stop-gap is that by the time I get to see my GP the Citalopram should be thoroughly out of my system. I can start afresh on something else.

The reason it's taken me so long to make the decision to come off the drug is that I've had problems with sleeping my whole life. If I have a bad night's sleep, it's normal to me. But if I have an elongated string of bad nights, coupled with repeatedly crashing into REM in the middle of the afternoon- something I can get away with on my days off- my body will eventually tell me that something I am putting in it isn't helping.

Despite still occasionally fitting in a gym session, or doing weights at home, my body weight is still climbing through the mid 80kgs (possibly 13'5! FUCK!)

I still feel the same negative emotions about myself that I did before I entered therapy in 2014, and way before I ever started taking depression meds. So, do I switch to some third drug? Or do I come off them altogether and see what happens? I guess my GP will know.

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