Wednesday, 8 January 2020

Once Upon a Time in Great Britain: Part 7

As Tom leaves the warehouse a short 16-year-old approaches him wearing marbled jeans and a Benetton jumper- CALLUM. He has a rucksack on both shoulders.

CALLUM
Are you Tom?

In an instant, Tom whips out the Beretta and pins the guy to the wall by the neck. He puts the gun in the boy’s face. Callum won’t look Tom in the eye. He’s terrified. Tom examines him, trying to figure out if he knows him or if he’s dangerous. Callum has what looks like a woman’s stocking hanging out of his pocket. Tom eyes it suspiciously but doesn’t mention it.

FLASHBACK- Tom handing over the package in McD’s. Callum was serving.

TOM
You work at McD’s?

CALLUM
I did, until you blew the fucking place up.

TOM
I didn’t know they were bombs, mate! They were in fucking laptop cases!

Tom’s kind of pleading with him- he doesn’t want to rot in jail for this.

CALLUM
Doesn’t matter, Devant told me not to go in.

Tom’s face slips from stress to almost understanding. This guy works for Devant too. Tom sticks the gun down his waistband.

TOM
Where is he?

CALLUM
He said you can meet him and he will… compensate you for your troubles but he said you’ll have to do something first.

Callum speaks slowly. He behaves slightly autistic, or perhaps OCD, slowly circling his wrists as he speaks, not making eye contact.

TOM
Like what, assassinate the Prime Minister?

CALLUM
No, Devant works for the Prime Minister.

Pause.

DAVE (Shouting from inside)
Get that black cunt. Don’t let him leave!

Tom’s psycho face returns. He turns to go back in the warehouse but Callum puts his arms around Tom’s chest and drags him out of the porch towards a small car. Callum is strong for his size.

TOM
I know where you live, you fucking dick! Next time I see you I’m going to smash your face into a fucking wall!

INT. SMALL CAR- DAY

Callum is driving.

TOM
What a cunt. Dave knew what was in those packages. Now the fucking government’s looking for-

Pause.

FLASH FRAME
Devant handing the cheque over

TOM
What- did you say?

Callum is thinking, casting his mind back.

CALLUM
Devant works for the Prime Minister. For the Government.

Tom has to wind the window down. He looks ill.

FLASHBACK
Tom, at uni (from opening scene) standing on his duvet, stoned. The duvet is tugged and he falls backwards. This is how Tom feels- everything has been pulled from underneath him. The British government attacks it’s own people. Tom is hyperventilating.

TOM
Oh. Oh fuck. This is bad… He’s fine though; they’ll protect him. They won’t do fuck all for me. They’ll deny he even exists…

CALLUM
You’re not going to the police mate.

TOM
Fucking right, I’m not. I’d done too much illegal shit before I found myself guilty of fucking genocide… and I’m on my last warning for kicking off. I’m sure as hell not going to the Police.

CALLUM
Devant will have confiscated the CCTV footage.

Tom is suppressing panic.

TOM
Okay. Okay. Where are we going now? Wait a minute- what’s your name? I don’t think today’s the best day for getting into cars with strangers.

CALLUM
Me name’s Callum and I’d describe myself as a – a film and gym enthusiast and a freelance political activist.

TOM
Not one to be pigeon-holed, then? Sounds like we’ll get on fine.

CALLUM
And to answer your first question- er- Devant just needs someone to provide me some assistance. I’ve got some issues to resolve.

Pause.

TOM
Pull over. NOW. Do it.

Tom glances around the car, looking for a way to dive out. On the back seat, a few milk bottles clink around haphazardly. They are filled with a strange blue liquid. Next to them lies a selection of lollipop sticks and a lighter.

CALLUM
McD’s isn’t the only place you know me from, Tom.

TOM (bemused)
What?!

CALLUM
Those bartenders are gonna get fucked up, you mark my words.

FLASHBACK

The Doorman running into Callum and dragging him outside.

CALLUM
They like to boast. I hate people like that. I hate them. And Devant’s losing his patience too. They’re not the only people who can copy discs, and they’re not the only people who can concoct alcoholic beverages. They think too much of themselves. Manager of Bar Code wanted to sack ‘em, but Devant stopped him. He has contacts at the papers, so he kept getting stuff printed in the paper about gangs taking over the bar. Manager went quiet after that.

TOM
I’ve gotta move out of that apartment.

CALLUM
You’ve probably only got approximately two more jobs left. Then if you want, you can, er, cease employment with Devant.

TOM
Thank fuck for that. How do you know?

CALLUM
I’ve been working for him since I left school. He said he hired me ‘cause I was- willing to do things that other people wouldn’t.

Tom thinks.

TOM
You’re a film fan, yeah? Christ. My mind’s gone blank. Alright. What's this?

HIGH ANGLE- CAR ON MOTORWAY

TOM (Cont., American accent)
'How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?'

CALLUM
Hudson in Aliens, Nineteen-eighty-six.

TOM
Shit!

CALLUM
Appropriate, considering your situation, I suppose.

Pause.

TOM
We used to do this through the walls at uni. Used to stay up all night, testing our film knowledge.

CALLUM
No one on Earth loves films more than me. Which is why this next job is going to be particularly enjoyable. We’ll be there in about forty-six minutes.

TOM
As long as it gets me out.

CALLUM
Out of this chickenshit outfit?

TOM
Yup. Alright, I bet I can catch you. 'Today they asked us to get rid of Joe. Tomorrow, they ask me to get rid of you. Is that okay with you? 'Cause it's not okay with me.'

CALLUM
That is... Once Upon a Time in America. Noodles. 'Eighty four.

TOM
Impressive. I can't even find anyone who's seen it. Alright, I don't even know anyone who's heard of this one. Um...

Tom impersonates an American woman.

TOM (cont)
Why would you need a bazooka?

Tom impersonates an African American man.

TOM (cont)
Well, sometimes you gotta take out stuff like a bus or a building, or a *bunch* of muhfuckas.

CALLUM
I know this.

TOM
I don't think you do...

CALLUM
It's a comedy. It's got, well, lots of black people in it...

TOM
Yes, yes it has...

CALLUM
Bunch of muhfuckas... It's not Don't be a Menace...

TOM
You're right, it's not...

CALLUM
Oh, that rap spoof thing. Fear of a Black Hat.

Tom exhales in surprise.

TOM
Wow.

CALLUM
Loved that movie. Anyway, I wouldn’t feel too bad about this morning.

TOM (Deadpan)
Thanks.

CALLUM
They were all corrupt and-

TOM
Yes, I’ve heard this ridiculous story and I don’t buy it for a second.

CALLUM
No, really. Most companies are taking funds from places they shouldn’t. The government does the same. Why do you think the papers are always reporting holes in the budget, and then town mayors are spending money on er… luxuries. You can get more money being a bin man- that’s a council job, local government- than you can doing insurance claims, using about ten computer systems and needing knowledge and understanding and stuff. I wouldn’t mind being a bin man but I’d rather stay at McD’s.

TOM
Great, I’m sure.

But Tom's really not sure. He sits in silence.

No comments: