Matt Tuckey is a writer from Oldham, England. He covers celebrities, night life, Manchester, fitness, creative writing, social media, psychology and events. Some of this may, in some way, help others. Or maybe it'll just entertain you for a while.
From the Hairy Bikers’ Hairy Dieters cookbook: a low fat traditional cottage pie recipe bulked up with leeks and other veg.
My attempt kinda spilled over the edge of the dish because I further bulked up the content with 10 celery sticks, not just 2. What would I have done with the rest? Same goes for crème fraiche. 300g, not 150. For mixed herbs: za’atar. First use of this.
It took me 90 mins to prep. Cook time is 30. Could be my memory difficulties putting the handbrake on, but that’s a loooong prep time. The recipe asks for 2 slender leeks to be chopped, fried and included in the mash topping, so I didn’t so much ‘go heavy’ on that, but it’s noticeable in the taste. I should have chopped them finer. Make sure your knives are sharp for this.
Good outcome though.
‘That was at Canvey Island,’ my dad tells me. ‘In the 40s. I was born in ‘49; by then my parents had got the house in Leigh-on-Sea.’
The latter house was the one I’d grown up visiting: semi-detached, homely, elephant ornaments and taught leather sofas, a dying willow tree at the bottom of the garden.
Dad recounts the story his parents had passed to him. My grandmother, his mum, had cooked a roast chicken. A typical affair, only this particular day took a turn. After retrieving the bird from the oven, she went to the kitchen to lay the table. Both of my grandparents went back into the kitchen and the chicken had gone.
‘They were hunting,’ tells my dad. ‘Where’s it gone? Something must have come in. Then they heard something under the sink.’
They opened the cupboard door. In plain sight, a rat. In its mouth, the leg of a roast chicken, the rest of the bird still attached and dragging hot grease.
‘Somehow or other it managed to get it under the kitchen sink. There was a hole there at the back of the cupboard, and it was trying to drag the chicken out through the hole.’
I expect such stories would be typical in 1940s UK. In these more sanitised times, a rat in the kitchen gets you a Manchester Evening News article, as ‘Kim’ and Tia Henderson found.
Hope you did too. Not much to blog about from last week, although this coming week, on the blog: a recipe, a story about a rat in an Essex home, a description of how at least one friendship ended this year due to anti-vaxx views… oh, and potentially a couple of book reviews.
Space nut Elon Musk – new owner of Twitter who appears to have sacked himself via poll – had bought the platform for $44 billion a month ago and is now in the process of ruining it.
In response, a big chunk of Twitters users are searching out alternative platforms. The most prevalent of these is Mastodon, a very similar status-based site with many of the same functions.
Mastodon, meaning ‘a large extinct elephant-like mammal,’ will now be more commonly be known to mean ‘a 6-year-old social media network. It’s decentralised, meaning instead of just one site there are thousands of individual communities it calls servers.’ – so says Washington Post.
I joined Mastodon around a month ago. I’ve kept checking back on it, but it’s a very quiet site. There are very few people using it – no-one I personally know – and a handful of celebs are prominent on it (Star Trek’s George Takei is one of the most vocal contributors). I’m currently posting blog links there, but I’m not gaining much traction.
The site will be more lively in 6 months. Follow me back if you want.
Nobody’s perfect. If you’re going to expect colleagues, friends and family to offer you unwavering harmony for the rest of your life, you’re deluded. You’re always going to unwillingly find something to disagree on, with anyone you meet, at some point in your life. Most of these people will generally be good individuals, and a one-off disagreement usually won’t end the friendship. But some people just make life difficult. A moment of idiosyncrasy, a lapse of self awareness or a moment of straight up disrespect from these people can make your life harder than it already is… and people who do these things tend to repeat the behaviour.
Let’s look at why.
For our own peace of mind, and as it’s a great idea to be conscious of how to avoid social pitfalls ourselves, it’s good to not be these types.
How do we recognise these difficult people? And what can we do to deal with them? I don’t propose we try to fix anyone. That’s a project for themselves, if they take it on (or Coldplay does). I’ve broken the situation down into three categories of difficult people: Knobs, Twats and Cunts.
Knobs
Knobs are socially clueless, making problems for themselves, not taking responsibility to learn and improve social skills. They generally don’t negatively impact other people, but as they clown about they unwittingly undermine their own lives, garnering humour, disrespect and in some cases dismissal from their would-be mates.
Twats
Again, these people are socially clueless, but their difficult behaviour impacts on other people negatively. Maybe they talk too much, or not enough. Maybe what they think is ‘banter’ doesn’t come across as such. Maybe they ask a few too many favours, drink too much and need ‘minding’ by other people, or maybe they don’t take advice. There’s a middle ground here as it’s fair to point out what they may not have thought of, particularly if it affects you, more than once. Occasionally, it’s good to tell people what they’re doing wrong. Just be civil about it, or they’ll be accusing you of being the twat.
Cunts
Cunts are a different breed. They can frequently – and inexplicably- be very popular, and socially aware, but they’ll pick people out to abuse for their own entertainment, and the entertainment of others, going out of their way to do so.
Cunts you want to avoid at all costs. The sad state of affairs is that these people frequently have lots of friends, and if you end up being their target, you really need to get away from them too. This will mean annexing yourself from their whole group. This might sound daunting, and self-isolating, and it is.
But, in 2022 you don’t need to put up with behaviours like this. It is now easier than ever to find new friends. Social events sites like Meetup and Pickle are growing in popularity, support groups like Andy’s Man Club are flourishing, and there are more than enough sports groups and evening classes out there if you’re prepared to look. Add into the mix webcam meetings available on Facebook and Zoom, and you’ll realise opportunities to meet new friends are in abundance. Trust your gut when you meet new people. You’ll soon learn to spot if someone falls into one of the above categories.
Don’t stagnate – but don’t be one of the aforementioned people either.
WBC World Heavyweight Champion Tyson Fury held a signing in The Trafford Centre, Friday 9th. He’s on tour with his new autobiography Gloves Off.
Organised by Waterstones, the event needed a lot more space than the Trafford Centre branch could provide, so the signing took place on stage in the main hall. I got in nice and early, bought my ticket (covering the cost of the book) in store and waited it out with another book.
The signing didn’t start until an hour after the advertised time, but Fury, the staff and a stock of books were ready. Each person’s autograph and photo were quick as the queue behind me was massive.
A good day. Looking forward to reading it. Fury seemed like a decent bloke.
Men's support group Andy’s Man Club not only offers the opportunity to meet like-minded blokes addressing their mental health, but it you swing by Sedulo on Deansgate tonight – location of the Manchester branch - you’ll also get free pizza after the session. What an incentive! Find it next to Moon Under the Water (but don’t go in that pub, as it’s a shithole and the Managing Director is a bellend). 7pm start. We may stay out a little late.
“Why does C3PO have red arm in rise of Skywalker?” asks an audience member. “Is it to do with Metal Gear Solid?”
“No,” he replies. “Stupid answer.”
Comically self-important, suave and quite camp, Mr. Daniels makes a great opening Q+A session at For the Love of Sci Fi, a movie convention now in its 6th year of running, back after a 2 year hiatus. It's day 2, Sunday 4th.
(As for the arm, it turns out the limb change derives from a stand-alone Star Wars comic, in which another droid sacrifices himself to save C3PO and others, donating the arm. It’s nothing to do with the aforementioned video game, which Mr. Daniels hasn’t even heard of.)
“I have so many favourite moments,” says Mr Daniels. “You have to make sure you know which way to fall when everyone is pulling you in different directions. In Empire we had fun laughing at George’s terrible script.”
Through the session we learn Mr. Daniels “isn’t allowed to say” if he’ll play C3PO again. The C3PO design was slightly different before the first Star Wars film was shot. “I took part because of a painting I’d seen, then George turned it into something you ended up seeing.”
(It was probably this one by Ralph McQuarrie.)
AQ: What was it like inside the costume?
AD: Horrible. The first day, I’d asked to practice with the costume. The first morning I was bumping into everything. They took it away for fixing. You put on one piece at a time. The neck joint took 30 minutes. But the effect was amazing. The US crew were like, “This is amazing!” The UK crew went, “pretty good.” Then the costume fell apart.
During one take George Lucas came eye-to-eye with Daniels, staring into his suit with a frightening intensity and stated… “The lights are out.”
The cast and crew had somewhat of a different prediction for the film’s outcome. “We all thought it would be rubbish,” admits Mr. Daniels. “But it was fantastic. I want to apologise for the Ewoks, though, after 45 years of watching.”
Prior to this, the cast of Back to the Future set up for photo ops. Sadly James Tolkan (Mr Strickland) has fallen ill and couldn’t make it, but here’s who I did meet:
Harry Waters Jr
Claudia Wells. She said I was very handsome. Charmer.
Don Fullilove
Taking over from Mr. Daniels, the cast of Back to the Future take the stage for a Q+A panel. Harry Waters Jr (singer Marvin Berry), Claudia Wells (love interest Jennifer), and Don Fullilove (milk bar assistant and, later, Mayor, Goldie Wilson) arrive, 38 years after the film’s release. Over to the audience...
AQ: Eric Stoltz was originally cast as Marty: did you work with him?
Mr Fullilove did, presumably the milk bar scene.
DF: It took a month to do Eric Stoltz’s scene. With Mike Fox it took 4 days.
AQ: What does the movie mean to you?
HWJ: I had more fun than you can possibly imagine. The movie is changing my life as we speak, because I can come here.
HWJ: Yes, they did a good thing. They made it different and it worked out well: they’re going to Broadway in 2023.
DF: It actually started in Manchester, but the Zombie Apocalypse (I’m guessing he means the COVID-19 pandemic, unless another major news story passed me by) shut it down.
AQ: Favourite Scene?
DF: My own! The building (the school hosting the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance) still exists.
AQ: What if you had your own time machine?
DF: I’d call it ‘The Goldilorean!’ I’d come back here, with Jean Claude Van Damme. (More on this later.) I’m changing the present!
CW: I’d meet Jesus Christ, then see my daddy in school. He was a parasitologist in UCLA. He went to heaven in 1997.
AQ: What was the casting process like?
DF: I got a call from (director) Bob Zemeckis, met him and Spielberg at Amblin Entertainment. He said, ‘can you sing?’ I said, ‘no.’ Guess who became Marvin Berry?
He glances over at Waters Jr.
HWJ: I took the part. My jaw dropped because it sounded so good.
AQ: If you could keep a prop from the film, what would it be?
CW: The car.
DF: I’d keep Hill Valley. That’s where it all began.
The BTTF panel doesn’t end there though: Mr. Waters Jr treats us to a rendition of his career-defining song. Please excuse my emotional state (and singing).
The final main stage event: The Universal Soldier panel with Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van Damme. They’re already bantering back and forth.
‘Why you looking so much younger than me?’ asks Lundgren.
The compere asks about the end fight scene on the farm, in the dark and rain. (As it happens, I caught the scene earlier in the day in the cinema room, a small installation in Bowlers showing movies from the two actors’ back catalogue.)
DL: We shot the night scene for 2 weeks. It was a tough, hard scene. Not many actors would have the physical strength for it.
JCVD: When the truck (carrying the UniSols) was empty, we had machines put in and trained. I was drinking protein shakes as we didn’t stop.
DL: Some scenes we were competing to see who was the most cut.
The mic is handed out to the audience, first going to a young Spanish man.
AQ: Do you still train in martial arts?
DL: I used to; now I have injuries. I still do bag, not sparring, but I do regular training. Respect is most important.
AQ: What’s your favourite character you’ve played?
JCVD: You’ve got to give every character a background story. Your first close-up is your most important.
AQ: Who’s the fittest out of you two?
JCVD: I run faster.
DL: He’d better run.
AQ: Who would win in a fight between Ivan Krushensky (JCVD’s character) in No Retreat No Surrender and Ivan Drago (Lundgren’s character in Rocky IV)?
JCVD: Write it, send it to us!
AQ: When people dub movies into your language (The Belgian JCVD’s first language is French, DL’s is Swedish), have you ever thought, ‘I could do better?’
JCVD: They used one guy, but he passed away. Parts of the JCVD Movie (in which he played himself, in parts speaking in native French) were completely off.
DL: I lived in Spain, and caught a movie on TV. It was (he impersonates) ‘Buenos Dias!’ a little too much. I hope he doesn’t hear this!
AQ: Favourite memory from Universal Soldier?
DL: The camaraderie we developed. We had fun with the final fight scene, but it was so cold and wet with the wind.
JCVD: I was doing push ups non-stop. You come home, you have bruises. The most important thing in life is flexibility. Stretch your chest daily. It’s good for your heart.
COMPERE: Any plans for the future?
DL: I’m going to Norway to celebrate Christmas with my wife and parents, and Sweden for New Year. Then Hollywood to film Expendables 4 and Aquaman 2.
JCVD: I’m shooting a movie before Christmas. I’ll take Christmas day off, in LA. I’ll try my best to do a martial arts movie like Bloodsport.
A brilliant day, all in all. I’d have loved to have met more guests, but you’ve got to be fast when booking tickets. Van Damme and Lundgren sold out of photo ops, as did Mads Mikkelson. I had some problems booking tickets online, and booking by phone meant a long queue to get through to Ticketline, which is only open limited hours. Plus, that Universal Soldier double photo was £225, so you’ve got to decide how much you want to pay.
Bring on 2023!
Anthony Daniels
Never Ending Story set
Marty McFly cosplayer with Anthony Daniels
Mads Mikkleson. He'd sold out by the time I got through to Ticketline
