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Kenny
Mammarella-D’Cruz, 'The Man Whisperer'
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University
is meant to be the most enjoyable time of our lives. Those three
years of partying, socialising and exploring ourselves to excess are
unlike any other and, for the majority of adults; they’d go back to
it in a heartbeat. For Bertie, however, his reality was very
different.
Bertie
hated university. He saw everyone socialising around him but felt
like he couldn’t connect with anyone. Despite going to three
different universities, Bertie still couldn’t safely settle and
ended up in a very dark, isolated place inside of himself.
With
no friends, a non-existent love life, and severe anxiety and
depression, Bertie found himself becoming a recluse and spending an
unhealthy amount of time online. He spent hours browsing YouTube and
lurking in the dark corners of Reddit threads, seeking some form of
escape and solace from the stressful foreign world going on around
him. The internet addiction Bertie had was crippling – it was
taking over Bertie’s life in ways he didn’t realise, pushing him
further and further away from relationships, work, and studies. He
was slowly and slowly slipping into an almost in-human state,
becoming only excited and enthused when he was online.
Frustrated
by his lack of purpose and direction, Bertie began reading self-help
books and became inspired to attend a men’s group. After trying a
few different groups, Bertie ended up at Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz’s
MenSpeak
men’s group. He took his time to commit to a closed group and
dipped in and out of open sessions, but Bertie eventually stuck with
it and quickly became an enthusiastic regular.
Bertie
says that he liked Kenny’s laid-back approach, the fact that he
puts the emphasis on the individual and doesn’t hold their hand and
go into unnecessary detail with every painful life story as a
traditional therapist might. He got suicidal at times, booked private
sessions with Kenny and found himself with new perspectives and tools
making peace with his issues and emotionally opening up to the great
personality that needed the space to emerge from inside of him.
Through the MenSpeak groups, Bertie began making close friends and
found a purpose to his life. After a huge drought, his dating life
began to prosper and his issue with depression, anxiety and internet
addiction began to decrease.
Not
only did Kenny’s men’s groups and private sessions turn around
Bertie’s issues, but they also gave him a purpose and a career.
He’s trained to facilitate his own men’s and boys’ groups that
he’s taking to schools and universities in order to help students
that are dealing with similar issues to what Bertie faced. For
Bertie, not only did Kenny’s influence change his life, but it gave
him the power to pass on the tools to others. At 25, Bertie is going
to be trustee of the MenSpeak charity, training others to pass it on
in their own communities, perhaps to put right for others what wasn’t
right for him.
About
Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz
Known
as ‘The Man Whisperer’, Kenny
Mammarella-D’Cruz is
a personal development consultant whose sole aim is to get to the
bottom of men’s issues. After taking up ‘man of the household’
duty at the age of seven due to familial struggles with the Ugandan
secret service, Kenny struggled further with mental health issues
like OCD and Tourette’s for most of his adult life before
overcoming them.
Kenny
then travelled the world and tried his hand at shark-feeding,
fire-walking, and managed a spell working with the divine Mother
Theresa in Calcutta, only realising later in life that he was
subconsciously trying to fill a hole he had within. Now back in the
U.K, Kenny uses his tools and experiences to work with men, improving
their mental health issues, and navigating issues like toxic
masculinity, wealth embarrassment, and the infamous mid-life crisis.
Hosting
weekly MenSpeak men’s groups, private sessions, workshops, and
training seminars, Kenny hopes his unique methods will result in a
whole new man – one who is free, confident, and able to succeed.
