Renegade Psych Patient Update

A month ago I decided to go renegade on my meds. 

I was tired of the weight gain, and the hunger, and constantly fighting my body. Any improvements to mood I may have made after 4 years of being on them, I think I can more likely attribute to therapy and group sessions, rather than the meds themselves, so I decided that, as lockdown is over, it was time to come off. 

I’ve spent the last month taking 15mg of Mirtazapine once every 2 nights, instead of nightly. The first few nights were a strain. The first night of no meds I didn’t sleep a wink. After that, I started to settle into a routine. 

My body weight looked like it was dropping at first, but it’s pretty much stayed the same. I was at 83kg at the start of this project. I’m around 85kg. I went down to 81 at one point. I have, however, put 2 more onto my underhand chin-up record. (Now 14.) I’ve matched my overhand record. Through all this, I’ve avoided junk food, I’ve followed some recipes, I’ve eaten plenty of disgusting vegetable smoothies… Yet I’m still a fat bastard. 

The issue here, it seems, is not just what I’ve been eating. Someone called Muel Mith – I really should have asked who she was before sharing her comments, but hey, I’m not a journalist- explained: ‘Eating clean would have been good, but ultimately- any sedating drug slows down metabolism- and mirtazapine in particular effects the insulin and glucose in your blood, it will store more fat regardless of diet or restricted intake of calories.’ Hence the dip in weight. 

It’s early days. My plan is to stay on half dose for a few more weeks, until I’ve used my current prescription, at least. I’ll continue clean eating (next week I have a recipe post to go up) and see if I can get some significant improvement to body weight.

The Gladiator Mindset

Back in November, Olympic swimming champ Adam Peaty OBE had a book tour for his part-autobiography, part-self-help book, The Gladiator Mindset. In it, the Commonwealth, Olympic, European and World champion regales on his upbringing and his swimming successes, and breaks down how he achieved his 14 world records and his numerous awards, including 2 Olympic golds. 

Olympic champions are a different breed. Their whole lives and attitudes are on a different plane to regular people like us. The 4am starts, the strict diet and massive consumption, the hours in the facilities (in Peaty’s case, the pool) and the gym, the tailoring of their lives to produce the best possible result… few could go through that pressure. I couldn’t. 

But in The Gladiator Mindset, Peaty fuses his life story with the lessons he’s learned along the way- how to focus, controlling intrusive thoughts, dealing with steadily increasing stress, etc. Secrets passed down to him through his coaches are fused with his other great passion: Ancient Greece and Rome. 

He’s studied this around his training, and the teachings of the warriors and political leaders that lived in that era permeate the book’s advice too. (They permeate his skin as well, as you can see from his sleeve tattoos.) 

The 10 steps are listed out in the book but not together- you come across them as you read through the 13 chapters.  

1) Imagine you are the hero in your own movie 

2) Answer 4 questions to find our life goal- what is you passion? What are you good at? What does the world need from you? What can you get paid for? 

3) Banish negativity 

4) Cold shower every morning 

5) Choose the pack you run with very carefully 

6) Summon your inner rage 

7) Finesse your process to reach your goal 

8) Face your fears 

9) Start a gratitude and self-observation diary 

10) Meditation keeps you in the present 

No Olympian is going to be the next Don DeLillo or George Orwell. If an editor wants to make a book with an athlete, they’re going to have to coax out the details and tailor the book, research the details and put it all together in an appropriate order, whilst keeping keeping the subject’s individual voice. 

Richard Waters harnesses Peaty’s ideas well, and presents them in a very readable and charismatic fashion. That said, there’s neither an index nor glossary, so when writing a review like this it’s hard to find the exact sections that I recall reading. 

But there’s a good wad of advice in here that would be great for schoolkids, the people who will be the next Olympians, as well as anyone else.

Disney+ Show Culprits Filming in Manchester

This week Manchester’s Northern Quarter is once again the location of choice for the movie industry. This time Disney+ are filming Culprits, a new crime caper with Quantum of Solace Bond Girl Gemma Arteton. Details on the M.E.N. Today I dropped in to see what it looks like.

Machine gun fire in Manchester's Northern Quarter today. Don't panic- Disney+ are filming a crime thriller called Culprits pic.twitter.com/OPgFKCBbK6

— Matt Tuckey 🇬🇧 (@matthewtuckey) March 24, 2022

More Culprits filming in Manchester pic.twitter.com/A9HFei9A9M

— Matt Tuckey 🇬🇧 (@matthewtuckey) March 24, 2022

More Culprits filming in Manchester pic.twitter.com/pbKo2Y2Lgh

— Matt Tuckey 🇬🇧 (@matthewtuckey) March 24, 2022

A Guide to Common Reef Fishes of the Western Indian Ocean

Well, I’m testing negative again, so back to work I go tomorrow. Thanks to being vaccinated, my symptoms were mild, meaning I failed this COVID test a few days ago... 

 

When I was about 10-12 I was wildlife-nuts. I’d have tons of books about the animal kingdom, and would dip in and out of them whenever I had a spare moment, poring over parrot plumages and engrossed in lions’ hunting habits. I foresaw (inaccurately) a career in zoology. 

But there was something I was struggling to get my hands on. A book about tropical fish, in the wild. My mum told me no such book existed, so she got me a book about keeping tropicals as pets- a good book that I still have. 

Months after this, we were on holiday in possibly the Yorkshire Dales – somewhere as un-tropical as you can get within the UK- and I stumbled upon a little second-hand bookshop. That’s where I found A Guide to Common Reef Fishes of the Western Indian Ocean by K. Bock. I bought it, and there was the inevitable i-told-you-so moment, and I dipped into it on holiday here and there. 

Jump forward to 2022, the world emerging bleary-eyed from a 2-year pandemic, and I’m looking through my shelves for books I still need to read. I dig out this beauty. 

A solidly knowledgable book, Reef Fishes offers concise info on where the tropics are, how the different tidal currents operate and what fish you can expect to see if diving around the reef. It’s hindered by a lack of colour in illustrations, which are important for identification reasons, and a lack of English names for species next to the Latin, but these days these can be Googled. The section on photography and equipment has long since been made redundant after first being published in 1978, and even the reprint in ‘85 is outdated. 

That said, measurements are gratefully metric. There’s good detail on markings on the fish, behaviour, and what kind of habitat you’d more likely find them in.

A Good GP is an Essential Soldier in the Fight for Good Mental Health

Mental health issues affect 1 in 4 people at some point in their lives.  Many people sweep these problems under the carpet, which of course only leads to these problems getting bigger. But ask any knowledgeable person what your first step should be, and if they’re anything like well-informed, they’ll tell you your GP is your first port of call.

When I first tried to address these issues – 2013 if I recall – I anonymously asked someone- some American Mental Health expert, although I can’t remember the details- over Twitter. They suggested I see my GP. I booked an appointment with him – we’ll call him Dr W1 – who told me there weren’t really any services that dealt with depression.

Obviously, this was bullshit.

I then strayed into The Samaritans office on Oxford Rd. They suggested the GP. I told them I’d tried, and recounted the above. They suggested I ask for a different GP. They should be forwarding me to someone.

I asked the GP receptionist if I could get a second opinion. They offered a slot with Dr W2, who I think I’d had some appointments with before.

I met with Dr W2. His response was a little different. ‘There are services available in Mental Health,’ he explained. ‘Mental Health covers things like depression. Being under this field doesn’t necessarily mean you’re dangerous, or anything like that. It’s an umbrella term for a lot of issues. Now, there is a wait list, and you’ll be waiting around 7 months, but we should be able to put you with someone eventually.’

I figured, 7 months is better than never, like Dr W1 had suggested. And, as promised, 7 months down the line I was meeting with a woman in some obscure office in the backstreets of Oldham, addressing my problems.

I’d spent years trying to get through to Dr W1, with no success. I didn’t know the term ‘gaslighting’ at the time, but in retrospect, that’s what he was doing – downplaying my problems and almost treating me like I shouldn’t have been taking up his time.

I’ve had many meetings with Dr W2, getting good, solid advice on things like mental health medication, assistance with issues like ATOS, HMRC and suchlike, and finding specialists to help. It's a shame that you can go to 2 people, who do the exact same job, and 1 will help you and the other won't. But this is the NHS. 

I’m now at a point where I’m reaching the end of that journey, and am ready to come off medication. 

Coincidentally another strand in my mental health story is ending. This week, I got a text from the surgery. Dr W2 is retiring next month. It’ll be a shame to see him go. Dr W1 hasn’t worked there for a long time, it seems, and I don’t recognise any of the other doctors’ names. I guess I’ll take my chances next time I meet with any of them.

'Positives' from this week

So. After an incredible weekend, I then had a very dull week. 

There were some positives: I got Insta inbox messages from a few contributors from the Carnival event last weekend- Kathy Brown, Freemasons, David Dunne, Visual Architects. 

The other positive was actually a negative: I tested positive for COVID. Well. That’s a first. Someone else I’d been out with also tested positive first, so I was expecting it to hit me. Tested negative all week, then on Friday, 2 bars showed on the test cassette. What a bastard. 

Currently, 2 other legends- former US President Barack Obama and Brit comedian / star of Bottom Adrian Edmondson are also positive. (Jurassic Park’s Sam Neill may be too. )

New Venue for Manchester Andy’s Man Club

Men’s support group Andy’s Man Club continues to grow and grow. With 85 groups in operation across the UK, and averaging over 1700 attendees a week, the movement is helping more and more men to address their mental health. 

In Manchester, our group has grown substantially. Due to this, and some other issues with the 86 Princess St venue we currently use, we’re looking to move and expand. 

This coming Monday, the 14th March, will be our last meeting in Princess St. 

Monday 21st, we will be moving our operations to Regency Court, 62-66 Deansgate. Thanks go to Sedulo for providing this. Brewing facilities (sorely missed by many for the last few months), fulling functioning room lights (again regarded as an occasional luxury), glass-walled meeting rooms and plenty of seats are all provided. Take the virtual tour! 

To reiterate- this Monday, we’re still at Princess.