Directions for Men / Mentell

 

For reasons I won’t get into here, I decide it was time to take a break from support group Andy’s Man Club. It was time to look around for other alternatives in the mental health community. I looked back at this event I went to in November last year about Male Loneliness, held in 53Two bar.  

Directions for Men seemed like a good group to investigate as they had a weekly online check-in on a Friday night, via Zoom. I joined in one of these. 

Founded by Chris Judge in 2019, the group has 2 sessions a week – the online 40-minute group, and a longer face-to-face group in Stockport. Bit far for me. They all seem like a good bunch of lads going through their own shit, helping each other out. 

Mentell, I understand, is a group very similar in format to Andy’s Man Club, and I gather that’s because it was set up by someone who had a fallout with AMC and set up his own online group. I’d joined in one session in the early days of the pandemic and found it a positive experience, largely because there was no need to trek into town to meet people and do the before and after waffle. (Not that we were allowed then anyway.) 

Discussing things with other strangers, dealing with similar problems, from the comfort of our respective homes, was a huge relief. I’d always considered restarting there. This week I’d managed to respond to their reminder email asking me to save a seat at the Monday night online circle. 

The rules were explained – this is a private group, and each person in the group should be sat in a private room with no-one interrupting them. If anyone is seen entering the frame of their webcam, their feed is disconnected. We’re assigned a ‘room’ with maybe 10 other members. The rules: no discussions of medication, politics or religion. 

We’re asked to rate our mood, 1 being terrible, 10 being great. People with the lowest mood score get to share first. The room’s facilitator keeps the list in order, and calls people’s names one at a time. I felt pretty good, so was towards the back of the queue. Fine by me. 

You can use the ‘raise hand’ feature to ask people questions about their share or to share reassurances like you might in any other group. At the end: a closing statement reminding us to share the group, to encourage people to join, but to retain the confidentiality of the group. Nothing actually shared in the group is retold anywhere else. We’re then asked to give one word to sum up our thoughts or feelings. I think mine was ‘relief.’ (Okay, I can choose to share my own info.) 

I found the session really helpful, straightforward and time-efficient. 

To get involved, sign up for the email alert on the website, keep your eye out for it, book your place, wait for the link to be sent and you’re good to go.

Photography Month

For the last few years I’ve been focussing my energies on specific areas of my life, usually tying into blogging in some way: touchtyping, screenwriting, shorthand, citizen journalism, etc. etc. There’s one area of blogging that I’ve yet to spotlight: photography. 

I’ve been meaning to do a smartphone photography month for some time, learning a little more about framing, lighting, getting angles right, and figuring out how to get the most out of my Nokia X20 (which will likely fall apart due to passing the 2-year mark in the next few months). 

I’m sure I saw some information about photography groups somewhere – possibly on Meetup. I’ll have a search around and see what I can find. It would be interesting to learn from other people, and open up a few social circles, perhaps. There will doubtlessly be photography tutorials on YouTube that I can check when I’m at home, or even out shooting. Also, I’ve known photographers years ago who’ve met up to go shoot. They’ve used proper cameras, but smartphones these days can take professional-enough looking shots. 

My X20 has a 64MP main camera and a 32MP front. It’s taken a few decent photos. There are also pro photographers that film kick-out time at the weekend. They then sell pics of drunk people, fights, ambulance and police callouts etc. to places like the M.E.N. They can’t be everywhere at once, though. Can I beat them to any scoops? I expect so. I studied Media for 6 and a half years. I got a degree in Professional Broadcasting Techniques. It proved itself to be utterly worthless, but I can remember a little bit about camera framing and lighting. I think I can get a good shot. But it would be good to learn more. 

What am I going to photograph? Well, there are things I’ve done before – blagging my way into launches, filming fights at the weekend, then sending them to the M.E.N. Protests and demonstrations, if we don’t get arrested just for being there. 

Cheers, Tories. 

What else? It depends what’s happening. Manchester is a popular filming base, with movies like Captain America and Morbius having filmed there. There are likely other film and TV shows setting up somewhere. Again, the M.E.N has updates on these things happening. 

Something else. I’ve found, doing blogging projects where I’ve been wandering the city, that it helps to be a little bit fit and healthy. You’re doing a lot of walking, of climbing onto things like electric boxes to get better views (don’t forget knee pads), of squatting and holding positions to get good video shots. There’s a physical side to it, and it’s hard to do when you’re leaning over your own gut trying to get a shot. 

Now is the right time to do this project: when there’s still plenty of daylight. Ideally, I’d have done this in June, but I was busy being a Viking. I have Annual Leave and TOIL to use up, though, so getting to midweek events should be possible. 

It’s time, once again, to cut out the junk food, follow the recipes, and tailor my workouts to that which suits the task at hand – walking, running, dips and chin-ups, weighted squats and lunges, perhaps some punch bag work to get the heart rate up. The Saddleworth Santa Dash is a little over 3 months away. Picture 1400 Father Christmases charging through far flung leafy Oldham Villages on a bright December afternoon. It would be good to get back down to 72kg and back into my suits again for this. 

I’m currently 83kg. Let’s see what happens!

Before 42 Bucket List

There are a thousand things I’d like to do in the next 12 months. Am I going to write them all here for you, family, and the authorities to see?! Probably best not to. So, once again, now a birthday has passed, let’s plan out some (bloggable) goals for the next year. 

1. Social Media Experiment 

Twitter is now X, and new CEO and visual gag enthusiast Elon Musk is in the process of botching up the website. I’ve had an idea for how to use Twitter – I mean X – along with another website, in order to boost the stats on my blog. I went about this completely wrong a few months ago, as Musk has made alterations to the site that you’ve got to pay keen attention to notice, but I think I could get it right this time. 

2. Photography month 

There are a few aspects of blogging that I’ve particularly focussed on in order to make improvements: touchtyping, Teeline shorthand etc. But photos make up a huge amount of the content of this blog, and many blogging advice websites advise to keep good original photos in your post. It breaks up a block of text, it allows another means of storytelling, it brings validity – people are more likely to believe you met an author if there’s a picture of you with them, or believe you saw a guy off Love Island doing karaoke if there’s a video of it. 

But, there’s a right way and a wrong way of shooting pictures and video. I’ve done 6 years of media training with a lot of video work in it. I wasn’t amazing at it, but I can remember a bit of framing. It would be good to see how the kind of guidance and advice available has been modified now that we’ve all got video cameras in our phones capable of shooting 1080p HD content. Are there any photography groups that work with cameraphones? Could I pick up any tips and then look for events at which I could exercise those skills? Could I find things happening that the Manchester Evening News has missed? 

Focussing on this for a month, and developing a little bit of skill, might set me in better stead for the future and might bring a bit more quality to the blog. 

3. CBD and memory 

CBD, or cannabinoid, is an active ingredient in cannabis that is derived from the hemp plant, but does not cause a high and is not addictive. Studies and clinical trials are exploring the common report that CBD can reduce anxiety (Harvard Health). 

I’ve had a bottle of this since I attended the CanCalm launch back in ‘19. I dabbled in it once or twice, but then the pandemic basically annihilated my social life so I never got much chance to use it, and of course, you need the scenario to be something that would normally give you anxiety, so for me, it would need to be a night out or nightlife event. These are few and far between these days, so the bottle has stayed on the shelf, but it occurs to me it might be good to try it every night, just to see if there is any change to mood, but there’s another reason to try CBD routinely. 

I have short term memory difficulties. There have been no suggestions form the NHS that there are any drugs that can improve my condition, and the emphasis from any treatments I’ve received have been on mitigating the situation with organisational techniques – the calendar in my phone, the Omninotes app, taking pictures of where I left my car, etc. All of these techniques work, but they aren’t infallible. 

If something else – like CBD – might help, it’s worth experimenting with.  

4. Zinc and hair growth 

I'm 41, and have been going bald for several years. It comes to us all. 

In an attempt to mitigate this, I've looked into how people have combatted this – beyond going to Turkey and spending thousands, only to look like that twat Tory polititian Michael Fabricant. 

It appears the metal element has many health benefits, including vision, skin and hair health. Hence, I'm going to take zinc suppliments nightly, along with a balanced diet, for a month to see if there's any improvement to my sadly fading hair. 

5. Namman Muay and flexibility 

I’ve made a few attempts to regain some of my 18-19-year-old flexibility from my Mauy Thai days. Outrageously, in my late 30s and early 40s I’ve found I don’t seem to have as much any more. 

What I did find is that flexibility can be partly regained through practice, and patiently sitting edging my legs further wider whilst watching Netflix on my phone. I did try to accelerate this process with Thai Oil, or Namman Muay, a menthol-based bright-yellow fluid. The liquid warms up the skin, increasing circulation and aiding recovery. It was fake, and from China, though, so that might be why I didn’t have great success with it. 

Real Namman Muay may have a better effect. 

I have LOADS of books to read. 

6. See Scandinavia 

I’ve wanted to visit this area of Northern Europe for a few years now, to visit Viking museums, see the architecture and sample the nightlife. 

But which country? They’re all outrageously expensive. I still don’t know which of these countries my ancestors would have come from (it’s one of them). Which has the best museums? Which is the fairer price? What else is going on near the capital cities? Would it be better to avoid the capitals and try somewhere like Malmo? 

I guess the answer is, where would I be most likely to find any information about the Toki Viking tribe, from which the Tuckey surname derives? 

6 solid plans. We’re 2 weeks into the year of 41 already. Let’s get a move on.

This Week in Disability News

What a week. 

There have been many psychology-related happenings that I’ve wanted to touch on in this blog post. I had my Universal Credit interview at the local Job Centre, as mentioned last week. 

This went a lot better than expected. Job Centre Lady – we’ll call her JCL – was very helpful and knowledgeable. My passport, which she needed for identification purposes, was nearly out of date, but it was fine for the UC interview. JCL explained I could take good photos on my phone and do the application online, rather than pay for photos at a booth. (I still need to do this.) The UC claim has gone through and I’m in receipt of it. 

It’s a huge relief. I have 12 months’ transitional protection, as I’ve been asked to move from Working Tax Credit, but if I’m still above the £16K savings threshold this time next year (I likely will be), I probably won’t be eligible. As for now, the payment should be the same amount. I shouldn’t have to do anything about this for 12 months. UC payments go in monthly, as opposed to weekly Working Tax Credits (mine have now stopped) and weekly PIP payments. All that was required was a quick analysis of what was going in and out of my current account and ISA. 

There was a message that flashed up on the website, while I was applying, that suggested that my claim was subject to me looking for more work. When I tried to find the message again, it had disappeared. I asked JCL about this. 

‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘It’s for people who are out of work. The Job Centre doesn’t have time to look into this for people who are already working.’ 

So, that’s a relief. I have an HMRC account on which there are messages I can leave for workers like HTCL who helped me start the process of claiming UC. She seems to agree that everything has gone fine. I’ll catch up with her with a phone call in a few weeks. All that is required of me is to check this to-do list on HMRC, with a few minor tasks, once a week. I’ve picked Saturday for my routine as that’s when I blog about psychology, into which this process ties. There’s nothing in the list today. 

I’ve written about the need for good professionals to assist you in these situations, especially when you have a disability that affects the way you process information, like I do. I’ve been quite fortunate that things didn’t spiral out of my control. 

Other people haven’t been so lucky. The Commons Work and Pensions Committee are already launching an investigation following countless deaths of disabled benefit claimants linked to its actions and failings over more than a decade. This investigation is into the same DWP that refused George Mitchell’s PIP and left him unable to buy food – because his landlord told them to. The same DWP that lost a court case over inaccessible letters, but kept sending them to the claimant – who is blind - anyway.  The same DWP that, it transpired last week, used delaying tactics that has helped deny justice to the relatives of those who have lost their lives. 

To their credit, The DWP have shown some sliver of redemption nationally: it transpired this week that they had tried to prevent private contractor ATOS from winning the £338m assessment contract,  leading to the interviews that saw thousands of disabled claimants like me humiliated, debased and treated like liars. 

It’s my intention to cover my experience of this in more detail another time. 

This, of course, is the same ATOS that hired a nurse that outright lied, numerous times, during Oldhamer Ian Littler’s assessment. Mr Littler had the good sense to secretly record the assessment, to prove that he in fact had not ‘called people scum,’ and that his dog had had to wake him up 130 times due to his tongue swelling, not the 4 times the nurse decided to record. 

There are many other stories from ATOS just like this one, and they don’t get the coverage that they should in the media. It’s important that the public are aware of how the Government treats disabled claimants, and what the repercussions are of their votes. And more to the point, why people might have a problem with them personally if they admit to voting Tory. 

The problem lies in that not all disabled people have the capability to properly express their experiences with these departments, so a lot of incidents like the above – whether negative or positive – go unreported. Not to mention, news outlets like The BBC have conservative agents influencing their output, and will doubtlessly underreport such things. 

So, if people seem to take your Tory vote personally, it’s because it is personal.

10 Years, 10 Predictions 4

Over the last 13 years or so I’ve been making lists of predictions, and then acting like I’m Oldham’s answer to Nostradamus whenever one vaguely correlates with current events. Here are the first, second and third posts. I think my hit rate is about 2 out of 30. 

That’s no reason not to dish out further prophecies, though, so have these. 

1. Instagram updates.  

Accounts should display a ‘follows you’ sign, if they do, like Twitter accounts do. Similarly, when searching for accounts, lists of these should show which follow you, and which ones you follow. There should also be the introduction of the option to unfollow an account from their story, not just their profile or post. We also need a search function that allows us to find content written in comments, either in our own or in other people’s public comments. Another tweak: when one person finishes a live, Insta frequently offers an opportunity to watch other people’s current live broadcasts, including people we don’t know. I’d like to see who’s going live right now, in terms of who is geographically closest to me, regardless of whether I’ve just been watching a live broadcast or not. 

2. Phone footage and the internet minimises arguments. 

Arguments will phase out, particularly on objective issues, as facts are more readily available. Disputes over what this person said or that person exactly did will be minimised, meaning arguments are less about what the objective circumstances are and more what the subjective thoughts and feelings are surrounding it. There will, of course, be people who refuse to accept facts. Fewer and fewer people will tolerate them.  

3. A divide between vaccinated / unvaccinated people 

On that issue, people who have a basic grasp of virology will have less and less patience for those who don’t. Specifically, those who, for whatever reason, think they know better than the world’s leading scientists and refuse to take the COVID vaccines. Many friendships are already falling apart due to this, many more will. If you have to ask why, you’re part of the problem. 

4. A bigger divide between left and right wing voters 

Tolerating and accepting people with different perspectives is fundamental to any democracy. This comes under strain, though, when people are accepting of bad behaviour that others are not. Like, for example, a British Prime Minister refusing to go to COBRA meetings then leaving 200K dead. Or making a plethora of racist, homophobic, Islamophobic and chauvinist comments. Or cutting the money that goes into the NHS, resulting in bigger wait lists and more excess deaths. Or cutting the money that goes into disability, and subjecting disabled people to humiliating private assessments to gauge whether they’re lying about the lifelong conditions they have. Or leaving schools and the NHS dangerously understaffed. Then banning protest when people speak up about it. Or employing a chancellor who laughs hysterically during the Queen’s funeral. Etc. etc. 

Tories are fundamentally bad people. They will, of course, always be bemused when non-Tories shun them, and this bemusement will be either through genuine delusion or complete naivete over the decisions their party makes. More and more people are coming to the conclusion that quality, in friends, is more important than quality, and that many people would rather have fewer friends than substandard ones who vote to harm the people around them. Smaller parties will be abandoned in tactical voters’ attempts to oust the current party.  

5. Caitlyn Jenner becomes Republican President 

In 2021, Transgender reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner made an ill-fated attempt to run for California Governor. She bombed, not even making the top 10 candidates. Doesn’t sound promising, does it? Well, Hitler failed in his Beer Hall Putsch that landed him in prison, and he was still democratically elected after that. The rest, as they say, is history. Caitlyn is 73 currently. Donald Trump (also a reality TV star with no political experience) was 70 when elected. Joe Biden was 78. Don’t underestimate Americans’ (or Brits,’ to be fair) ability to make the same dreadful mistakes over and over. Huge swathes of the population fall foul of Freud’s theory of repetition. If the conservatives of Britain can have 3 female (and coincidentally terrible) leaders, USA can too.   

But then…   

6. Webcams in Fridges Bear with me here. Food waste is becoming more of an issue in a society where sell-by dates dictate our eating habits. Do you honestly have the capacity to remember everything that’s in your fridge? I doubt it. Everyone overbuys or underbuys at some point.   

I would hugely benefit from something that tells me, ‘you’ve ran out of this, but you have plenty of this, so don’t buy any more.’ Would a camera system work? Or something that registers what goes in and out of your fridge? And what’s about to run out, so you can restock before it does?   

That said, an even bigger benefit would be something we already have available: supermarket delivery service. That way, you can write your order in whilst looking into your fridge and cupboards, and receive reminders on previous orders. That way you’d be unlikely to forget to order something on account of it being out of sight, out of mind.   

You’re also less likely to order junk food. If you’re not searching for chocolate or crisps, you won’t see any adverts suggesting you add them to your basket.   

7. Joe Biden Steps Down US President Joe Biden, 80, I would say is doing a competent job for an octogenarian – certainly better than The Former Guy, not that that’s a high benchmark. But the odd slip when speaking – or walking — is nodding towards a mild dementia issue. You tell me of a guy his age who hasn’t seen any mental deterioration. He’ll concede his age is a problem, and step down.   

This will push Kamala Harris – still embattled due to her ‘don’t come’ comments re illegal immigration – into the top job, resulting in The USA’s first female and first Asian president. This will displease a lot of people, based on recent approval ratings.   

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion, though, that she’d be particularly unpopular with certain far-right groups. Look at these responses to Obama’s election in 2008.    

8. King Charles Abdicates   

Refuted 16th century seer Nostradamus predicted (if you believe the translations) many key moments in history since his lifetime to ours, and beyond. Most currently relevant was quatrain 6/72, which I noted in September related to Queen Elizabeth II’s passing.    

Through the pretend fury of divine emotion The wife of the great one will be badly wronged Judges wish to condemn such doctrine The victim will be sacrificed to the ignorant people.   Because they disapproved of his divorce A man who later they considered unworthy The people will force out the King of the Islands A man will replace him who never expected to become king.   

In his 2006 book Nostradamus: The Complete Prophecies for the Future, historian Mario Reading suggests that Harry will be crowned. It’s still possible, but William and his children will all have to either abdicate or die, so that’s unlikely.   

Another, closely related, quatrain is 10/22, detailing King Charles II’s abdication and passing to his son.    

Because they disapprove of his divorce A man who later they considered unworthy The people will force out the King of the Islands A man will replace him who never expected to become king.     

But which son?   

I think Charles’ abdication is a high likelihood due to age and disillusionment. He’s tired. Anti-monarchist sentiment is growing (Camilla having an affair with Charles while he was still married to Diana, someone not wanting Diana’s then-boyfriend, Muslim Dodi Al-Fayed, to join the Royal Family, and of course more people being educated that Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were third cousins, which explains a lot). 

William takes the throne after Charles steps down, before the monarchy can be abolished – an upheaval that William suspected would happen.   

9. Sphagnum Moss and Lichen Use   

Climate change is becoming a more serious and noticeable issue as scientist attempt to stave off rising temperatures and sea levels. Numerous attempts to combat this are under way, including the planting of flora – plants and other greenery – to offset carbon emissions. To recap high school science – flora breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen. Fauna – animals like humans – breathe in oxygen and breathe out a range of elements and compounds including carbon dioxide.   

As the rainforests are sadly being demolished and carbon (and sea levels) are rising, tree planting projects around the globe have popped up, with some success. Ecologists, however, have recognised a huge advantage in the use of sphagnum moss and lichen.   

WildlifeTrusts.org explain ‘sphagnum mosses play a vital role in the creation of peat bogs. By storing water in their spongy forms, they prevent the decay of dead plant material and eventually form peat.’   

This in turn absorbs Co2 levels.   

Another method of absorbing CO2 is lichen. These are also plants, normally associated with rot and decay. USADA.gov explains: ‘Because lichens enable algae to live all over the world in many different climates, they also provide a means to convert carbon dioxide in the atmosphere through photosynthesis into oxygen, which we all need to survive.’   

Hence, we can expect fewer glassy buildings in our cities and more rock-based buildings, like we used to build, except this stone – whatever we use – will be infused with lichen, adding colour to the city and offsetting carbon emissions exactly where they are occurring the most. 

10. Basic psychology lessons on the National Curriculum 

Yes, I know, teachers are massively overworked. They don’t need more stress and extra work on top of what they do. What I’m suggesting is we ditch History and Geography, replacing them with more IT classes, through which people can research these subjects should they wish to online. 

Additionally, we install psychology classes in which pupils are taught the basics of how the mind works. Here’s your prefrontal cortex; here’s where you learn things. Here’s your hippocampus; here’s where you remember things. Here are the key findings about the nature of learning. Here’s how you absorb information and problem solve. This is why you feel anger, sadness, happiness, amusement. 

The purpose of this: if a school pupil can grasp even the most basic of psychological principles, they can understand how to learn in the first place. They can pin down why they might be having a problem. Are they really not understanding something, or are they just not able to remember it? Are there external factors influencing their learning? Stress? Tiredness? Are there symptoms of a condition? And more to the point, what can be done to overcome problems with learning itself? 

If a school pupil can analyse the facts, gauge the veracity of a piece of information on the internet, look at the evidence and make conclusions based on these, we wouldn’t have so many conspiracy theory nutters and we wouldn’t be letting shady politicians get away with corruption. And, if you’ve been paying attention to the news recently, you’ll have seen the COVID fraud stories, the cost of Brexit and who has profited off it (The EU wasn’t even mentioned in my time at school), the proven lies (where’s the weekly £350 million for the NHS now we’ve left the EU?) you'll agree there is enough reason to suggest that Joe Public really can’t interpret the news accurately and are left with spurious beliefs. 

It would take decades of proper education, but stamping out those beliefs should be a priority. 

I’d love to know what predictions you have for the country and the world.

Before 41 Bucket List Review

This time last year I was putting together a list of things to achieve before turning 41. I laid out 6 projects – 1 every 2 months, on average – and set about them. 

Well, for some reason it took til October to start. I think I was already dieting to fit back into my suits, I just forgot to write about it. I’d managed it by November, through hard smoothie consumption. 

Then came the run-up to Christmas, a notoriously difficult time to be achieving anything other than being ready for the 25th. 

After this, a Twitter Project. I’d tried to use the website Fame Registry to boost my page views, with the intention of pushing my blog past 1 million hits. I botched this project badly, but in April, I managed the million anyway. 

After this, I dished out a load of TV show applications for the full month of May. I got very little interest, but then, very few shows were taking on anyway. 

In the last 2 months before my birthday: a Viking Research project, looking into my family’s Norse ancestry. I didn’t quite find everything I was looking for, but what I did find was fascinating. I’m planning to go to the Museum of London at some point to see a Runestone connected to my ancestors. 

Then, just this week – a few days after my 41st – I finished off a month-long practical Viking project, to follow up the aforementioned. This mostly involved cooking with root veg, eating, fasting through the day and working out. Gutted I didn’t get around to axe throwing. I did grow a massive beard though. I finished it a few days after my birthday.

So there we have it. A busy year, and on the whole, an accomplished one. Here’s to achieving more in the year of being 41.

No real plans for the week, but on the blog you can expect:

An update with the HMRC situation, a catchup with last year’s Before 41 post with my plan for the year, another post with some plans for this coming year, and an updated Top 11 Nightspots post. I wrote a version of this 9 years ago. 

Also, take a look at Waterstones’ events page. There are a few interesting events happening in store in the North West. I’m looking forward to O Brother: John Niven in conversation with Dave Haslam. I read Niven’s brilliant novel Kill Your Friends in Ibiza in 2013. He’s signing on 29th August in the Deansgate store. Still need to buy a ticket for this.