Why Male Loneliness Matters – and What We can Do About It

A good friend of mine Dan Rowe of support group Andy’s Man Club was one of the key speakers at a fascinating talk covering all things men’s mental health related on Thursday night. 

Why Male Loneliness Matters and What we can Do About It took place in 53Two bar on Watson St, along with former rugby player Danny ‘Scully’ Sculthorpe, now a mental health first aider on behalf of State of Mind Sport, Adele Owen from Shining a Light on Suicide and Max Dickens, author of mental health book Billy No Mates, all compèred by Virgin Radio’s Tim Cocker. The night was comprised of a series of presentations from a few different local support groups, including the aforementioned, but also: 

A Band of Brothers, an award-winning charity matching older mentors to younger men, mostly who have come through the justice system, preventing them from returning to it.  

Dadmatters, helping dads have successful relationships with their families, particularly vulnerable families.  

Directions for Men, offering groups across Greater Manchester on different days of the week. 

A Q+A session with the panel allowed for a conversation about mental health in general. The main takeaways – 

• a reiteration that there’s a difference between being physically alone and feeling lonely, that the feeling is more that something is missing rather than your proximity to other people. 

• An encouragement for dads to discuss mental health in front of their children so they grow up knowing that it’s something they can talk about in the future. 

• A change in circumstances – the end of a relationship, or moving to a new town, for example- can mean a change in friendships in adult life, something a lot of men find incredibly difficult. 

• London-based Lions Barber Collective are a team of men’s barbers. Describing itself ‘as a place for haircuts and headspace,’ the Collective offer mental health conversations and a haircut. The movement isn’t restricted to Carnaby St, though, as they are affiliated with The Hub of Hope, finding mental health support systems based on your location. 

At the time of writing I’ve just tried out this particular site, inserting my postcode. I’m offered different headings of afflictions I might need support with – addiction, disability, eating disorder etc. I chose the anxiety option. The top 3 results: Tameside, Oldham and Glossop Mind, Healthy Young Minds Oldham, and Andy’s Man Club Oldham. This website in particular is something I’ve been hoping someone would create for people looking for support across the UK. Back to the event:

• A lady from The Samaritans explained her organisation was looking to expand, and to work with other organisations like Groundwork, working with prisoners and veterans, etc. 

A really rewarding, interesting and reassuring night with some brave speakers.