Tuesday 30 May 2023

Viking Month: Research


 

Just before my birthday I should be able to squeeze in the last challenge out of the 6 I gave myself last year. I’m expecting this one to take 2 months. 

I’m going to immerse myself in Viking-era research. What do I mean by this? 

I want to learn as much as I can about Viking culture, partly through TV shows, but also by speaking to people like historians and museum curators. Why? Because my ancestors were Vikings, and I find it utterly fascinating.  

The Tuckey surname derives from the Toki Viking tribe, the name of which in turn, I’m told, comes from the Old Norse name ‘Thortekill,’ meaning ‘Thor’s Sacrificial Cauldron.’ At some point in the Viking conquest of what would become the United Kingdom, The Toki tribe did a deal with one of the British kings. We don’t, as of yet, know which one. The deal: convert to Christianity, and receive some land. Give up your pagan ways, and we’ll leave you alone. 

They took the deal. 

Some generations later – we don’t know how many – in 1069-1070, William the Conquerer ordered The Harrying of the North, the ethnic cleansing of Vikings from Northern England. The Toki tribe were left alone, as they weren’t really a tribe any more. The Toki name became a number of other names like ‘Tookey,’ and also Tuckey

In case you hadn’t noticed, I find all of this fascinating. I must learn more about this. My dad tells me that, before I was born, he was visiting a Museum somewhere – he doesn’t recall where – and he spoke to the curator. The curator explained the above story, and described how, when the Toki tribe converted, they were given a ceremonial spoon as a symbol of their assimilation with Christian British culture. This spoon, Dad tells me, went to either St Paul’s Cathedral or Westminster Abbey. This is as much as I know as it stands. For the next month, I’ll ask around and see what knowledge I can absorb about this spoon, the Tokis, and Viking history. I’ll send a few emails, make a few calls, take some leave to do so. I’ll also start trying to intermittent fast, as Vikings did, by eating Dagveror (day meal of porridge, apples, bread and dairy) and Natveror (an evening meal usually of vegetable broth, frequently with fish but on occasion some meat). I’ll watch a ton of Viking shows – The Last Kingdom and Vikings: Valhalla are on my watch list. I’ll tailor my gym workouts to what Norse warriors would have done: rowing, deadlift, cable work to simulate the movement of wood chopping. I have many more ideas. Next month, having researched, I’ll throw in a bit more practical work and live closer to how my ancestors would have done (as much as a public sector office worker can living under 21st century British laws). Stay tuned to see what I mean.

Monday 29 May 2023

Comic Con Yorkshire this week

Coming up on the blog: a novel review that ties into psychology, a handful of other psychology points, some predictions and the beginning of a project about Vikings. 

Happening this week: 

 Manchester Andy’s Man Club won’t be meeting in Sedulo tonight as it’s a bank holiday. A few of us are getting food in Crown and Anchor at 1pm though. Shambles Square. I’m sure new guys would be welcome to join. 

Comic Con Yorkshire runs this weekend in Harrogate! The first Yorkshire based con from Monopoly Events happens this Saturday and Sunday in Yorkshire Event Centre. I’ve got my entrance ticket and photo ticket for Monty Python star John Cleese. Monopoly’s events are always brilliantly run and offer fascinating talks and sales stalls. Sadly Michael Madsen had to cancel. 

But look at this lineup!

Sunday 28 May 2023

Box Bar Burger Baboon Badger

 

Busy week polishing off this TV project that seems to have gone nowhere. Notable incident: Zac Wilde answering Popbitch’s ‘baboon vs badger’ conundrum.

Saturday 27 May 2023

I spent a month trying (and failing) to get on TV

10 years ago, I managed to get on 2 TV shows, as mentioned last month. I enjoyed both experiences, and planned to get back into TV one way or another, some day. I’ve watched many reality TV shows from being 18 onwards, and I’ve always noticed that there’s no prerequisite for talent or looks. (Make your own mind up if I have either.) 

The opportunity should be there. So, throughout May, I looked around for TV shows looking for subjects and contestants. 

Production companies ask interested parties like myself not to tell anyone about the application, so I can’t tell you a great deal in this blog post. I had ideas for shows that I wanted to apply to, but I found a lot of them were not taking on. The shows that were looking tended to be specific documentaries looking for people who were in specific situations. Are you in the process of a major home improvement? Do you have an antique you’d like valuing? Well, no, I don’t. But I’m still open to suggestions, so I told production companies as much. I received the odd application form, and filled and sent them off. I’ve recorded a few piece-to-cameras selling myself, something I’m getting a little better at doing. But I’ve not heard back from any of them. 

So… maybe I’m too old. Or it’s a waiting game. 

Throughout this month, I’ve tried to keep fit ready for any screen appearance. I’ve stuck to healthy food and kept at the gym. My weight has gone up to 83kg though, and I hit no PBs. No way am I fitting into my suit trousers right now. 

As a project, this TV thing is now complete. While I wait to hear, I have these others. I’m 41 in 2 months...

Sunday 21 May 2023

Martin Amis vs Elle Brooke

A busy week, mostly spent working on this TV project. I can tell you nothing as of yet. 

Author Martin Amis died. Here’s what happened when I met him in 2010, including his writing advice he ‘dreads giving,’ and this:

Boxer Elle Brooke answered Popbitch’s Baboon vs Badger question, which I had posed: ENDS

Saturday 20 May 2023

Mental Health Awareness Week Top Tips - Anxiety

This week has been Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK, although I’ve not seen a great deal advertised about it. The theme this year is ‘anxiety,’ something I have enough experience of. I’m no professional, but I’ve seen the professionals, and I’ve soaked up some knowledge. And this is my blog. So here’s my 2 pennies: 

1) More people deal with anxiety than you think. You are not the odd one out, so relax. 

2) If you’re worried about being judged, you’re right: everyone judges everyone, all the time. Including you. So get used to it. 

3) You may have thoughts about what other people are thinking about you. I know I have, and they drive me up the wall. I think people are judging me about having memory difficulties and being ‘the special needs guy.’ I have been repeatedly told this is utter bollocks and that most people don’t even know I have a memory condition. I don’t know what other people are thinking, and neither do you. Save yourself the stress: stay out of other people’s heads. 

4) Sugar causes anxiety spikes. Now, there’s sugar in all sorts of things. But if you’re plying your body with sugary treats or modified microwave meals with added preservatives, you’re not giving yourself a fair chance. Get your sugar from fruit, and get plenty of veg in. Good food isn’t the answer to everything, but if you’re not eating a balanced diet, you’re working against yourself. 

5) Plan your day. When you have a plan and you know what you’re going to do, there’s less of the ‘unknown’ that creeps into your day, and you’re unlikely to be stressing about problems arising, or feeling like you’re at a standstill. With a plan, you can find you’re too busy to notice anxiety. 

6) There are a growing number of support groups that assist with depression and anxiety. I’m in Andy’s Man Club, which operate across the country, but there are many others. Check out Hub of Hope, a location-based mental health resource, and put in your postcode to see what’s available near to you. Point is, act on the problem. Don’t sweep it under the carpet. See your GP. Even Emmerdale featured a men’s support group recently. It was pretty realistic too. Of course, your GP should be your first port of call. Get this done early, because your actual appointment won’t be for weeks. 

7) Don’t fear conflict. If you have to have a difficult conversation, or do something stressful, the anxiety built up around that situation will be a lot more painful than the event itself. It isn’t the conflict that’s the issue – it’s the ‘big deal’ you make out of it. 

8) Give people space. If you want to be there for other people dealing with anxiety, be there. But don’t badger them. Offer the help. If they want it, they’ll ask. If they don’t, don’t make it worse by imposing. You’ll only patronise. 

9) Focus on other people. The more you get to know others, the more you ask about their business, the less you’re thinking about yourself. That self-consciousness is usually the source of anxiety. 

10) Anxiety is not the same as nerves. Dictionary.com defines it as ‘distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.’ With nerves, you do what you need to do anyway, regardless of the discomfort. With anxiety, it prevents you from doing what you need to do. It puts real barriers in the way of what you deserve to be experiencing. You don’t have to put up with the symptoms of anxiety, nor the real-world repercussions. There are things that can be done about it, but you’ve got to go out and get the help. 

I hope this helps. I’m making an effort not to be a moralistic, preachy arsehole as I’m aware of how off-putting that can be. But I have learned the above, and don’t want other people to go through what I have. So there you have it.

Tuesday 9 May 2023

For the Love of MMA '23 Part 2

Please first read Part 1 of this MMA-themed convention

Former UFC light-heavyweight champion Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson is the next stage guest. Loud, lairy and a self confessed ‘real asshole,’ Jackson, a former opponent of Chuck Liddell, also in attendance today, opens reminiscing those particular fights – as best as he can.

 

“I couldn’t have beaten Liddell. Chuck had just fought Wanderlei Silva and got knocked out. Styles make fights. To this day, I still remember knocking Wanderlei spark out.” He looks off into space for a moment. “Give me a sec, I’ve got brain fog. I can’t remember my own boxing coach’s name. I’ve been punched in the head too many times. What was the question?”   

Jackson’s Q+A meanders from training in England with (he remembers) Paul Kelly, to his Ultimate Fighter season, in which cameras go behind the scenes and when 2 fighters and their trainees are pitched against each other for 6 weeks.   

“I hated every second, hated the guys’ guts,” Jackson admits. He tells us of juggling a court case, training, the TV show, and losing his temper.   

Jackson then dipped into the movie business, as BA Barakas in the A-Team remake, picking that project over a fight. Dana White, he tells us, “was not happy. If you do nothing (in pro fighting) for 6 months, it’s hard to get back in. 

“I never met Mr. T. He wanted to play BA Barakas again. I’m one of his biggest fans. Mr T Gave me a Snickers bar, (As Mr T advertises on TV) and I ate it.   

“My next movie will be with Cowboy Cerrone and Chael Sonnen.”   

AQ: Who was the most annoying person you ever fought?   

RJ: Jon Jones was an annoying fight, but personality, Chael Sonnen. He’s annoying as fuck! (US-Canadian sports journo) Ariel Helwani got me sued! He cost me a lot of money. You have to use the word ‘allegedly.’ He asked me, ‘Are you in love?’ I said, ‘no.’ It cost me a girlfriend AND I got sued! (MMA fighter) Bob Sapp is rich as fuck, but he’s the cheapest person you’ll ever meet. We went to Thailand to train with him. Sapp is so funny.   

AQ: If WWE gave you some training, would you be open to it?   

RJ: No, I’m heterosexual. Wait, what? If they trained, maybe, but I’m old (44).   

AQ: What were the best moments of (early MMA promotion) Pride?   

RJ: They had after parties before the fights had finished. I met this groupie, got her number. I turned around and (entourage member) Gary was playing with her titties. I didn’t know she was a pornstar!   

Before the next stage guest appears, I take a browse around the building to see what’s happening. The seminars have begun. A section of Bowlers has been set aside for training seminars, and Matt Hughes is the first guest to teach on the mats, focussing on takedowns. 

 

Chuck Liddell is next to take to the mats, teaching striking for MMA.  

 

Finally UFC’s Kenny Florian taught some submissions.

 

I wish I’d been faster and booked onto these, as training with a fighter is a rare opportunity. 

Brazilian former Middleweight champ Anderson Silva is the last stage guest of the day. Silva holds the record for longest UFC title reign at 2457 days.

 

JN: when you dropped Vitor Belfort (with a front kick to the head) what did you think?   

AS: I used boxing, then put my leg high. Bam. It worked. When you have a discipline, and train, it works. When you do something, do it with heart. 

His stage talk meanders between hyping a fight with shit-talk (“When you talk a lot, about wife or daughter, I think, okay, I’m gonna go kill this guy”) to injuries (“My doctor told me not to fight. Coach said, please put your hands up. I said, ‘I can’t, I’m in too much pain.’ The judges saved my life against Chael Sonnen”). (Former Light Heavyweight champ, now Heavyweight Champ) Jon Jones Silva describes as “my bro! I respect him a lot. It’s a good fight for fans to think about, but it won’t happen.” 

Questions are opened to the audience, and a fan first asks about UFC 162, back in July ‘13. On the night, Silva lost his middleweight belt that he’d held since 2006. 

AS: I respect (opponent) Chris Weidman a lot. I lost focus, and got knocked out. It’s a tough game. When I win it’s good, when I lose it’s okay. In personal life it’s the same. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win. Nobody can stop you except you. When I lost my win streak, it’s like something happens to you in one second. It happened to me. 

The next audience question brings up his Matrix-like fight style- lots of leaning, arms low, a fluid, kinetic display. 

“I grew up watching Bruce Lee,” says Silva. “I tell friends ‘I’m Bruce Lee!’ My friends were like, ‘Bruce Lee is Asian.’ I’m like, ‘I’m black Bruce Lee. It’s the same.’ I’d say, I’m Spiderman!’ My friends would say, 'come on bro, Spiderman’s not black!’” (Maybe not, although in a recent incarnation Spiderman was half Puerto Rican, and Silva is similarly Latino.) 

The final audience question of this Q+A, and of the day: What does it feel like being the baddest man in the room? AS: I’m not the baddest man in the room! (Silva points to the signing tables at the far end, manned by this weekend’s guests.) There’s a room full of fighters!






In the middle of the day: photoshoot with current welterweight champion, UK's Leon Edwards.
 

Big respect for Monopoly Events and Bowlers for putting For the Love of MMA together. Let's do it again next year!

 

Monday 8 May 2023

Bonus Bank Holiday

 

I’m not a Royal Family fan by any stretch. £10 million to put a crown on a guy’s head? During a cost of living crisis? Ridiculous. But anyway, we got a bank holiday out of it, so I’ll take it. 

Coming up this week: the second half of For the Love of MMA, the convention I went to a couple of weeks ago. Here’s the first half. I’m finding I’ve got more lengthy, interesting content to show because I’m a little bit better at Teeline now. There’s a predictions post I keep promising. I must also get back into cooking recipes. And having a social life. 

Oh, also, I got to a thousand followers on Instagram. Well, that only took about 11 years. Here’s to the next thousand. 

I’m also still working through this TV month. Making steady progress to get back on TV, but I’ve been busy with the aforementioned stuff.

Sunday 7 May 2023

For the Love of MMA '23 Part 1

“I came as refugee,” says Mohammed Mokaev. “I now have everything. I’m happy enough. I’ve money.”   

Mokaev, born in Dagestan Russia but now a nationalised Brit, is the first stage panel guest at For the Love of MMA, a Mixed Martial Arts convention in Bowlers Manchester. The convention is back for its second year, again featuring a roster of current and former UFC fighters, stage talks, trader stalls, training seminars and photo ops. 

 

 

(I incorrectly identify Mohammed Mokaev as Islam Makhachev. Apologies – I’m blaming memory difficulties.)   

Now ranked 12th in the UFC Flyweight division, Moakev tells BBC’s Jamal Niaz people were nice to him when he arrived, getting a free gym membership, without which he wouldn’t have got the £50K from UFC President Dana White. He tells of his preparations before an MMA bout.   

“I get nervous before every fight. If you don’t, you’re crazy. You don’t care about what’s happening.”   

Mokaev didn’t get into fighting for fame. He wanted to be as successful as possible, he tells us. “I sent a message to Dana White saying, ‘in 4 years time I’ll be in the UFC.’ I was.” Making the prelims in UFC Fight Night in March this year, Mokaev got Performance of the Night for his submission over Cody Durden, and the London Atmosphere, he tells us, was so good. If his predictions are accurate, there’ll be 2 more fights before a title shot.   

Niaz asks about Mokaev’s top fighters – he names Jon Jones and Anderson Silva, the latter of whom is also a guest this weekend. Niaz mentions the other UFC OGs in the building like Chuck Liddell. (More on them later.) Mokaev tells of his understandable astonishment that, a few years ago, he was playing as them on UFC console games. Now he’s appearing alongside the real fighters as a professional himself. 

Finally, Niaz asks about coping strategies for things going wrong.   

“Nothing goes right!” jokes Mokaev. “I was sick and waiting for my visa before my fight. If you want success, you have to go through stuff.”   

Next up, returning to the stage – and to the event – is last year’s headliner, Canadian middleweight Georges St Pierre.  

 

Niaz asks about a planned fight against Anderson Silva, a bout that didn’t materialise. 

“I feel like I want to go back,” claims GSP, “but then I go home and I’m like, nah. When I was young I’d liked to have fought the best, to be the best. I was crazy. If the door was closed, I would have kicked it in. I’m not that guy now. I’m happy and healthy.” 

JN: What was your most complete performance? 

GSP: BJ Penn was the best fighter I fought, pound for pound. The performance was worse, I don’t know why. You don’t control it. 

Niaz opens the questions to the audience. The first question is, like last year, in reference to GSP’s role in the Captain America movies. 

GSP: I know (titular actor) Chris Evans; to share a screen with him is great. People don’t give stunt doubles enough credit. They make scenes look so good. 

AQ: Would you consider a grappling match against Silva? 

GSP: I’m not the same person I used to be. It doesn’t mean I’ll never compete again. Maybe for charity. I train not for performance but for longevity. The reason I train now is to increase quality of life, to make me feel better. 

AQ: What's your advice for your younger self? 

GSP: I would tell him it’s okay to be scared. Every fight is bigger than the previous one. Don’t over-train. ‘Train hard’ is a cliché. The trick is to train clever. Otherwise you can get injuries and depression. It’s better to be under the line than over. Do too less rather than too much. When I fought Bisping I got sick. They tried to get me to fight. Then Khabib retired. A few years later Dana White asked me to come back. It’s always like a chess match. What will be the outcome? With a few years out of performance, I still said ‘let me think about it.’ Next day his agent was still trying to get me to fight. I knew it was all a blag. It happens a lot. To be successful, you need to be aware of it.   

AQ: Why did you change your walkout song?   

GSP: I changed walkout song when I fought Matt Sera (another guest at the convention, as it happens), and he beat me. I’m not a superstitious man, but now I never use the same song twice.   

AQ: How do you handle bad days?   

GSP: Many days I feel like shit. These are the days that matter the most. It’s easy to be successful on good days, but you’ve got to be willing to put in the work on bad days. Try to be objective, not subjective. It’s done no matter what.   AQ: Any advice other than hard work?   GSP: You gotta have fun. When you have fun, you’ll learn. I stayed educated so that if it doesn’t work out, you’ve got something to fall back on.  


Georges St-Pierre



Anderson Silva

Chuck Liddell



GSP 





 

Tuesday 2 May 2023

Memories of Littlemoor

 

I’ve been working out of a different office recently, and it’s turned out that I share a surprising connection with a guy there. Oldham is a small town, and everyone seems to be associated with everyone else in one way or another. You know the 6 degrees of separation principle? In Oldham, it’s about 3 degrees. 

Colleague’s gran, it turns out, was my neighbour back when I lived at the flat in Littlemoor, in Oldham. Her flat was directly above mine. 

One morning back in 2011, she had a nasty accident involving a knife. She’d knocked on for me, in severe medical need, and I’d just about woken up by the time she’d gone back to her flat. I rang 999, Emergency Services attended, and within a month, she was back living there. 

Neighour was an alcoholic, Colleague tells me. She’d done it ‘pissed up,’ and dropped a kitchen knife on her foot. She died of old age just a few months after I moved to my house, April ‘19, but before the COVID lockdown. 

Another resident in that block – a guy on the sick called Glen – Colleague had met a few times, passing by. Neither of us knew him that well, but I knew enough. 

I’d explained to Colleague that one night – March 2012, Facebook tells me – I’d heard him making bird noises in his car. Whistling, tweeting noises in the middle of the night. Someone – not me – called the police, who, not for the first time, came out to talk to him. Not much happened, to my recollection. 

There were other instances throughout the decade, most of which I’m forgetting. He kicked a visitor out of his flat for apparently kicking his dog (a pet that housing wouldn’t have allowed anyway, and woke me up barking several mornings after I’d had late nights. He didn't have it for long). I remember one summer coming home from work to find his lounge window smashed, and a flat screen TV on the lawn lying in the glass that had been flung out. 

The following month, I’d come in from a night out at around 3-4am. I was surfing Facebook instead of going to bed, when I heard the clunk of the electromagnet on the block door. Most of the people in my block were old. Who’s going out at this time? I lifted the blinds. 

This Glen guy, he’s darted out the house full pelt, butt naked, and down the road out of sight. 

Well. Never a dull moment. 

15 or so minutes later, blue lights filled my lounge. I turned the blinds and switched the light off to get a better view. Within seconds, Glen burst back onto the scene, legging it seemingly towards the front door again (although he clearly didn’t have a fob to get in). A police car had pulled up and two male officers got out, at first walking, then breaking into a sprint, disappearing out of my view but presumably pinning Glen down outside his own window. I could hear the officers instructing him to stop struggling while they put cuffs on him, while he made some bizarre pig-like squealing noise. Eventually, they walked him back to the car and sat him on the back seat, legs facing out, spuds on display. They left him sat like that for a minute while they radioed in, then put his legs in the car, shut the door and drove off. 

Glen was back the next day. I never discussed it with him.

Monday 1 May 2023

Bank Holiday

On the blog: the return of the UFC-themed convention For the Love of MMA, a predictions post, a story of an old woman in a flat, and I really should crack open the recipe book again. A busy week of blogging ahead.