This week has been Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK, although I’ve not seen a great deal advertised about it. The theme this year is ‘anxiety,’ something I have enough experience of. I’m no professional, but I’ve seen the professionals, and I’ve soaked up some knowledge. And this is my blog. So here’s my 2 pennies:
1) More people deal with anxiety than you think. You are not the odd one out, so relax.
2) If you’re worried about being judged, you’re right: everyone judges everyone, all the time. Including you. So get used to it.
3) You may have thoughts about what other people are thinking about you. I know I have, and they drive me up the wall. I think people are judging me about having memory difficulties and being ‘the special needs guy.’ I have been repeatedly told this is utter bollocks and that most people don’t even know I have a memory condition. I don’t know what other people are thinking, and neither do you. Save yourself the stress: stay out of other people’s heads.
4) Sugar causes anxiety spikes. Now, there’s sugar in all sorts of things. But if you’re plying your body with sugary treats or modified microwave meals with added preservatives, you’re not giving yourself a fair chance. Get your sugar from fruit, and get plenty of veg in. Good food isn’t the answer to everything, but if you’re not eating a balanced diet, you’re working against yourself.
5) Plan your day. When you have a plan and you know what you’re going to do, there’s less of the ‘unknown’ that creeps into your day, and you’re unlikely to be stressing about problems arising, or feeling like you’re at a standstill. With a plan, you can find you’re too busy to notice anxiety.
6) There are a growing number of support groups that assist with depression and anxiety. I’m in Andy’s Man Club, which operate across the country, but there are many others. Check out Hub of Hope, a location-based mental health resource, and put in your postcode to see what’s available near to you. Point is, act on the problem. Don’t sweep it under the carpet. See your GP. Even Emmerdale featured a men’s support group recently. It was pretty realistic too. Of course, your GP should be your first port of call. Get this done early, because your actual appointment won’t be for weeks.
7) Don’t fear conflict. If you have to have a difficult conversation, or do something stressful, the anxiety built up around that situation will be a lot more painful than the event itself. It isn’t the conflict that’s the issue – it’s the ‘big deal’ you make out of it.
8) Give people space. If you want to be there for other people dealing with anxiety, be there. But don’t badger them. Offer the help. If they want it, they’ll ask. If they don’t, don’t make it worse by imposing. You’ll only patronise.
9) Focus on other people. The more you get to know others, the more you ask about their business, the less you’re thinking about yourself. That self-consciousness is usually the source of anxiety.
10) Anxiety is not the same as nerves. Dictionary.com defines it as ‘distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.’ With nerves, you do what you need to do anyway, regardless of the discomfort. With anxiety, it prevents you from doing what you need to do. It puts real barriers in the way of what you deserve to be experiencing. You don’t have to put up with the symptoms of anxiety, nor the real-world repercussions. There are things that can be done about it, but you’ve got to go out and get the help.
I hope this helps. I’m making an effort not to be a moralistic, preachy arsehole as I’m aware of how off-putting that can be. But I have learned the above, and don’t want other people to go through what I have. So there you have it.
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