Before 43 Review

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It’s that time of year again. I turned 43 recently. A year ago, I set out some goals for the year. How did I do? 

1) Get 1000 members in Manchester Nightlife 

Well, that didn’t happen. Running Meetup groups is a real test of will: some people who join will become good friends, some will generally be good people but you won’t know them that well, some you’ll meet once and never see again, some will attend regularly but cause enough problems for you to block them from the group, and some will – instead of having a conversation with you - go onto Reddit and drag your name through the mud. It’s a rollercoaster. Still, the group has a 4.6 out of 5 star rating on Meetup. Can’t be that bad. I had 200 a year ago, I’ve now got over 580. We’ve had some great nights out, and I have a plethora of other ideas that I want to do. 

2) See more of Scandinavia 

I travelled to Copenhagen in April last year. Great holiday. I’ve been meaning to try another Scandi capital but I’m only just putting these plans in place now. Looks like Stockholm could be on the cards soon. 

3) A third Viking project 

I’m in the middle of this now, watching tons of Viking dramas on Netflix and working out loads. Steadily getting back to old PBs, and setting some new ones. I’m cooking a lot of Viking recipes, with varying results. This will end when I’ve exhausted Netflix’s Viking content. Still to watch: 2 more seasons of Vikings Valhalla, 1 season of Vinland Saga, and the Last Kingdom movie, Seven Kings Must Die. Throughout this, I’m doing a ton of chin-ups. I must mix more gym sessions in too. The beard is coming on, though. 

4) See other parts of the world 

This hasn’t really happened. I’ve been to Tenerife for a second time, and am likely to go back next year. 

5) Teeline for a month again 

Didn’t get around to focussing on shorthand this year. I need to, though, as I look back over my notes sometimes and they’re utter gibberish. I have improved, though, every time I’ve tried to learn it. 

6) Learn Nunchucks 

This I focussed on for a month in March, developing some competence. Good fun. 

7) Excess Month Again 

I didn’t manage to pencil off a month for living my life to excess. I planned to involve a load of food, drugs and alcohol, and regular blogging, but I just didn’t get around to it. Too much dieting. So an attempt to channel my inner Hunter S Thompson will have to wait. I had tried this in 2017. 

8) Veganuary 

I did go vegan successfully for the month of January. Interesting experience of shopping, cooking and working out. I’m planning to do it again next year, but even stricter, limiting bread and porridge, and focussing on the veg. The aim: hit fitness and weight goals. 

9) Touch type for a month again 

This didn’t happen. Will try again this coming 12 months. I’ve been trying this on and off since 2014. Sure would help in work and with blogging. 

10) Get back into the 30” suit trousers again 

I did manage this at the end of June. I was hoping to have done it in time for a holiday in late May, but better late than never. Predictably, I piled a lot of it back on. With this Viking thing, I’m steadily taking it off again. 78.1 is a long way off 72.2kg, but here we are. 

So. 3 out of 10. Oh well. It was fun.

Running out of ideas for Manchester Nightlife.

Most of what I wanted to do I’ve done. Bar crawls like Deansgate and Spinningfields. Peter St. Big food halls like Mackie Mayor and Diecast. I really want more house music nights but these are increasingly hard to come by. I managed a night in Off the Square and another in Exhibition, which were both great nights, but it’s finding them running that’s the difficulty. A lot are one-offs. Or they’re monthly things that die off after a few months. 

I do want to focus on 2 things: food and house music. Some attendees were keen for another Diecast meetup. Suits me. I really want to get to Eastern Bloc (running all year) or Warehouse Project (September to Christmas) for good house DJs. I just haven’t thought it through, and as a result I haven’t uploaded anything for this coming Saturday. 

There are, however, 2 events before then. Thursday night: Vegan alcohol-free bar Hinterland runs their monthly philosophy evening, offering 'a stimulating exploration of Wisdom and Imagination in Community.' I’m making a concerted effort to trying other people’s events, not just running my own, and this one intrigues me. I know nothing about philosophy, but the chances are people there will be able to hold a conversation and will grasp the concept of turning up on time and following instructions. 

Let's find out with Manchester Psychology Social Group. 

Friday night: a WeRoad – large, generic but generally friendly meetup – happens in Box on Deansgate, so I may make an appearance. You might. 

You might also take a look at the new Dave’s Hot Chicken, a food outlet opened this week in The Printworks. It’s only a stonethrow away from Box. Kinda.

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So yeah, if you have any ideas for meetups that suit Manchester Nightlife, hit me up.

43

Had a birthday. Ate food with family. 

 

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Ran a meetup to Diecast. Ate more food, a giant pizza this time. Got drunk. Had more attendees than I think I’ve ever had at an event. There were 25 on the list at one point. Most of them arrived. Came home early via bus. Great music, great people. No fallouts or anything. May run more to bigger venues like this - they seem to be popular.

Saturday night in Diecast Manchester. Cuatro, Bodeguita, pina colada, bbq chicken pizza.

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— Matt Tuckey 🇬🇧 (@matttuckey.bsky.social) August 3, 2025 at 7:25 PM

Dancers in Diecast last night

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— Matt Tuckey 🇬🇧 (@matttuckey.bsky.social) August 3, 2025 at 7:26 PM

Went to a family barbecue. 

Continued chugging through this Viking project. Encroaching on some old workout PBs. Now out of cereal and porridge. 

Surpassed 1.4 million hits on the blog. Got more hits in July – 70 thousand – than I’ve had in any other month.

Attention Training to Combat Anxiety

In 2025 we are awash with distractions, mostly from our smartphones. We fill our SD cards with apps for different websites, which then ping off to notify us of things that are largely irrelevant to our everyday lives. Sometimes it’s a reply to something we’ve said online, but a lot of the time it’s something a friend has done that isn’t relevant to us, an annoying feature that has emerged on various platforms in the last few years. 

Add to that the addictive nature of doomscrolling – largely on Instagram – and before you know it you’ve spent 5 hours on your phone doing very little (which can be confirmed by another available app that monitors your screen time). Away from phones, there are other screens- TVs, computers – at home and at work – there are distractions in the office, in the lounge, in bars. Your focus is constantly being syphoned off by a multitude of sources. 

Have we forgotten how to pay attention? 

It seems that I possibly have. I’ve received some treatment for anxiety in recent weeks. A long-standing problem, my habit of letting my brain shoot off in different directions has been spiking my anxiety for decades. The NHS have helped me with this a little bit. Dr C has encouraged me to try to develop tunnel vision, to focus on the individual I’m speaking to, or to the task at hand. He’s suggesting I try not to absorb everything that’s happening, meaning my mind shoots off on tangents, but to focus deeply on one thing, what’s most important, and forget the rest. 

I doubt I’m the only person who thinks that’s easier said than done, and it seems I’m right – Dr C showed me some YouTube videos called Attention Training, an audiovisual tool designed to develop a deeper focus on the one thing that you’re trying to do. Whether you’re trying to quell anxiety in conversations (like I am) or focus deeper on a piece of work (which I also am) or some other task that involves ignoring distractions, the Attention Training will, in theory, help to tune out the noise and allow you to think clearly and control your emotions. 

For more practice focusing, see also Attention Gym. These videos have millions of hits, and the comments show that other therapists worldwide, not just mine, are recommending these videos. Some are purely audio, some are purely visual, some a mix of both. The videos all follow a similar formula: many different things happen at once, with audio instructions requiring you to focus on one of these things. A small shape appears on a black screen and moves across it. You’re asked to follow it with your eyes. Soon, other shapes in different colours join the frame, and move in different ways designed to distract you – they spin, they turn, they rebound of the corners of the screen like a 90s screensaver. But we’re still asked to focus on the original shape, to ignore the distractions and stay focussed on the task at hand. 

The audio-emphasis exercises are loaded with similar distraction. The video – a black screen with text - will start with a ticking clock. A car’s engine will intrude on the sound, then a steam train, then you’ll be transported aurally to a greasy spoon cafeteria. These sounds will overlap, but your task is to read the text instructions and focus on whichever sound is described on screen. You need to identify the matching sound and cut out the cacophony from your mind. 

It’s no easy task. With time, though, I should be able to focus more deeply and not have my mind wonder off into some irrelevant thought or stressing over whether I’m doing it right. 

So, how is this relevant to real life? Concentration span has always been an issue for me, right from infant class. I’m now 43, and I’m still drifting off at times. For example, I’m embarrassed how long this blog post has taken to write, to be honest. Dr C has advised that not only will a deeper, narrower focus help me to understand things, it means the anxiety – over whether I’m good enough for the people I’m talking to, whether I’m ‘fitting in,’ whether memory difficulties are marking me out as different in some way – will be quietened as my attention will be on the other person in the conversation, not myself. These things might sound like ridiculous things to stress over, but when you strip everything away, this is my underlying problem. 

Other people have their own reasons for needing to practice focusing, but a lot of these videos have millions of hits, so it's far from an unusual problem. 

It would be a good idea to blog again on this issue in a month’s time, to see whether there’s any real-world changes to my attention and mental state. 

In the meantime, have a go yourself. 

43 this week.

Expect 2 blog posts about goals achieved, or not, or to be achieved.  

Viking project going well. Good food, workouts, and Netflix shows. 

Went to Diecast last Saturday, a food and drink hall with a nightclub vibe, in an old factory on the outskirts of Manchester. Think rusted metal, brickwork and vine leaves. House music in one room, live cover band in the other. Lots of small independent eateries scattered about. I figured it would be well worth running a meetup there, so if you want to join the 3 of us as it stands, get involved this coming Saturday. Manchester Nightlife will be there from 7pm. Come eat, drink, dance, talk. 

New Meetup Manchester Activity Group opened up this week, offering a range of fun stuff. Ice skating was already ran. Worth keeping an eye on. I’m certainly keen to try more things than just endless bars. 

Recharge and Reset also opens, ‘designed to help you slow down, recharge your mind and body, and discover simple tools to boost your everyday wellness.’ 

As some meetups open, others close. Manchester Clubbing has vanished. If that was your thing… there’s still Manchester Nightlife. 

Power is a State of Mind passed 1.4 million views last week. Whether you love me or hate me, thanks for reading.

Death Café

The gong sounds on stage to draw our attention. It’s not the start of an old Arthur J Rank film, but the opening moments of tonight’s Death Café in Northern Quarter’s Hinterland. 

The vegan alcohol-free restaurant on Turner St has an eclectic event roster but tonight – Wednesday 23rd July –their monthly Death Cafe offers an opportunity to have a frank, open and realistic conversation about death. The organiser tells the aim is to increase awareness of the nature of death and to strip back its taboo nature. We’re not trying to get to a conclusion, the organiser tells us. Nor is it for profit. 

Jon Underwood set up the first Death Café in London in 2011, based on similar concepts in France and Switzerland. He’d previously worked with ex-offenders and had studied Buddhism. From thereon, the concept has spread. 

The small round tables in Hinterland are perfect for groups of 4 or so to gather and discuss the subject, recounting tales of lost loved ones, hospitals, the grieving process and differences in this across different cultures (the group is popular with people from all over the world). I’m also informed I look like BBC’s Steve Backshall, which is a first. Not sure how I feel about that. He’s about 10 years older than me, but he’s shredded, so... 

A really interesting, welcoming and positive discussion, frequently more about life and its brevity than death itself. I understand Death Café to be a monthly event, so keep your eye on Hinterland for their events roster.

Spelt with Chorizo

From Rukmini Iyer’s The Roasting Tin: Spelt with Chorizo, Sweet Potato, Red Onion and Spinach. 

My attempt was a little light on the spinach side as the bag came as 240g, not 300. I had 200g chorizo left, not 220. I dug out a packet of barley from a previous recipe as couldn’t find spelt in the supermarket. I put the spinach in too early. Prep took me 40 mins, not 15. I made an extra 200 ml of stock, but when that went into the roasting tin it still didn’t rest above the level of the mixture. It still came out a little dry. I gave it more water and another 10 mins. 

Tasted great though. Chorizo was the standout ingredient.

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