Lockdown Reading Take 2: Review

At the end of July, Oldham went into partial lockdown, again, after another spike in COVID-19 cases. I decided to go back to my pile of books and try to polish off as many of these as possible before lockdown was lifted (again).

The twist this time, as nothing is ever simple on Power is a State of Mind, is to increase flexibility by attempting the splits, while reading, and this time, by applying Thai oil. Back in July, I described the project and featured the 6 books in my to-read pile. Offbeat culture magazine Vice gives an insight to Thai oil, the eastern liniment with healing qualities, its history and its gradual spread from traditional Thailand through to the western world.

I'd tried this flexibility-and-reading exercise before, and had made some progress. My July '16 record for splits was 1m 65 between the ankles. It was time to see whether Thai oil, with its ability to increase circulation and heat muscles and ligaments, might alIow for a 38-year-old gym nut to get closer to doing the splits, like an ageing Van-Damme.

I started, in July, with my feet against a full-length wall cupboard, with 1m 42 between my ankles. I started reading. I found, before long, that wrapping a towel around a pillow and placing that under the butt cheeks helped alleviate numb-bum, one of the hardest parts of the project. The Thai oil itself helped to increase circulation to the legs, combatting the effects of sitting on a hard floor for long periods.

The Place of Dead Roads

This was a middle book in a trilogy; the bookending editions I got for my birthday after I started the project. As I'm such a neurotic bastard I couldn't include these books in the project.

Two Brothers

I had tried this a couple of months ago. Set in Berlin just before the outbreak of World War II, I found it just not grabbing enough.

The Corrections

I had made an attempt to read this 'acclaimed' novel some years ago. I made it 100 pages in. I'd found it excruciatingly dull, a beautifully-written but empty account of a family not doing anything. The granddad develops Parkinson's and loses his mind. The mom plans a family get-together. That's about it. I decided I'd give it another shot.

I had the same problems. Empty, vacuous toffs go about their lives. Gran and Granddad go on a cruise to rejuvenate their love lives- this results in Granddad deteriorating so much that he hallucinates a talking, taunting lump of excrement chasing him around his cabin. Other than that, unbearable pomposity. It's absolutely bemusing as to why it's so celebrated. Again, I made about another 100 pages.

Bram Stoker: A Biography of the Author of Dracula

Classic horror novel aside, there's little to Stoker's upper-class Victorian life that really engages, unless you're riveted by details of some rugby-playing toff (why do I buy books with these characters?) visiting plays and fanboying contemporaneous poets. I made an attempt to read this about a year ago, and had the same problem.

Legacy: An Off-Colour Novella for You to Colour

My first Chuck Palahniuk book in years, Legacy features a out-of work bum bestowed, through a relative's will, with a peach plant. Well, it turns out the plant is worth quite a wedge, and so he attracts the attention of immortal strippers, SWAT teams and stalkers, all intent on coming between himself and his heirloom. As the story twists and turns, there's plenty of opportunity to colour in the half and full page illustrations (some provided by artists behind Hellboy and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) depicting key points in the story. I haven't actually done the colouring in, but I wouldn't rule it out. It's supposed to be incredibly therapeutic (perhaps even when the drawings are of, in one instance, a Mafia bloodbath). A great, fun story with packed with ideas.

Make Something Up

Another entry from Chuck Palahniuk, Make Something Up offers 21 twisty, depravedly twisted tales from the mind that brought us Fight Club. The anthology style was perfect for the reading-and-splits task, as I would only be sat in that position for a few minutes while I read each story. Although his novels are great reads, it's his short fiction that really bites on the nose. A brilliant read.

So that was the pile, as was last month at the start of the project. I started practising the splits, as mentioned, with 1m 42 between the ankles. My record was 1m 65. In this project, I only managed 1m 60.

During this project, I also hammered away at some long-standing gym records. As the gym has been closed between March and July, it's been a long time since I've been able to register strength and fitness levels, but now that I have access to the equipment I've been able to put an extra 5kg on my hamstring curl record. A few other PBs I'm steadily encroaching on.

Since taking the picture at the top of this post I've received a few more books as birthday presents, and I'm keen to dive back into them. I'll likely try the Thai-oil-and-splits project again soon.