2
days of house music, friends, dancing, rain and mud. Lots of mud. The festival in Manchester's Heaton Park
took place on the 11th
and 12th
June. Our group had an early start, and we beat the queues on the
Saturday. As the 140,000 capacity venue filled up, we stayed by the
Circus stage where we saw some world-class DJs playing to a very
small number of people at first: here's Dixon, who was voted the Best
DJ in the World by house music website Resident Advisor .
Here
he is playing alongside Yousef.
After
this we headed up the hill to the zoologically-themed Elrow tent, the same brand that runs a weekly
night in Space Ibiza. Inflatable wild animals, rain forest designs and tribal-themed
performers set the tone. Groove Armada were hidden away on the decks
behind the jungle paraphernalia and intermittent bursts of confetti.
This was the most colourful and vibrant of all the
stages. Great stuff. Like all tents at the festival, it was heaving with
people avoiding the rain, which was largely persistent for the two
days. The weather dampened the grass (which became a huge arena of
mud) but not our spirits.
Day
2: We again beat the entrance queues, but this time a sniffer dog
took a liking to me.
“What
have you got?” The dog handler asked. “What is it?” She was
very stern. You could imagine someone cracking under pressure like
that. For the record, the sniffer dog was wrong. I had nothing, and
told the handler. I mentioned antihistamines for hayfever. She
grabbed me by the arm and led me into another tent where a handful of
other people were waiting with a sheet of paper between their hands.
I was given a sheet to hold so they could see I wasn't fidgeting, or
removing anything from my person.
She
addressed the group of us- mostly young lads and girls, one older
guy. “Guys, if you've got anything to declare and you tell us now,
you might still get access into the festival. But if you hide
anything and we find it, your ticket will be torn up and you'll be
handed over to the police.”
Yeah,
right, I thought. That's one way of speeding up the process. Blag
people into admitting what they've got by offering false immunity.
Eventually
I was led into further section of the tent. The security guard, and
aging fella, asked me to lay all my belongings on a table.
“You're
a little bit older than most of the people out there so I'm going to
expect you to be responsible,” he said. “Now, I'm just going to
ask you at this point. Do you have anything on you that you shouldn't
have?”
“No.”
“Okay.
Take off your shoes. Drop your trousers to your knees and place your
hands on the table.”
He
patted me down and, well, briefly examined me- nothing too invasive
thankfully. “Nah, he's got nothing,” he mumbled to his colleague.
I
was allowed to pull my clothes back and refill my pockets. Then I had
to fill in a form giving my personal details, and at last I was set
free into the festival where my mates had graciously waited for me.
Then
we moved over to the Paradise open
air stage and watched Kink DJing.
Although
the stages and tents and vendors were all well- maintained, the
toilets were not. They were fucking vile. I don't ever want to piss
in an overflowing trough again. These were not manned and there was a
steady queue every time I went.
I
saw Julio Bashmore playing in the
Bugged Out tent- I kinda stumbled across him when I was looking in
the set times to figure out who I was watching. I'm a fan of his
tracks like Au Seve and Holding On. Nice experience.
We
took a break from dancing some time in the afternoon and sat on the
grass at the main stage. This coincided with Jess Glynn's set. She's not someone I would
choose to listen to, but I really enjoyed her emotional performance,
where she sang her hits like Ain't got Far to Go and Hold My Hand.
She also gave an impressive cover of Shaka Khan's I feel for You.
Next
up: Radio 1's Annie Mac,
wearing a black raincoat with RAVING emblazoned across the back and
animated visuals chroma-keyed in behind a live feed of herself on the
decks. With her black 80's perm she really reminded me of someone. In
retrospect, it's Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio in Scarface. (Tony's sister.)
Grime
artist Skepta took over after her, who
again isn't someone I'd plan into my festival schedule, but we
stopped to watch him. Entertaining, and providing for a crowd very
different than the one before him.
I
think my team wanted to round off with Major Lazer, who I'd have been happy to see
had it not clashed with my must-see,
MK.
So I told them I'd be in the Big Top tent and snuck off. I caught the
end of Hannah Wants' set, where she
played some great 00's era garage. I noticed that she'd played at
Albert Hall recently, but at the
time it was the first I'd heard of her. Great DJ. Damned good looking
too.
MK
took over after her, playing quite a few of his remixes as well as
other tracks- all slightly more melodic than a lot of the
techno-based music being played in other tents. A lot of these tracks
I recognised as his own. I've been meaning to see this guy for years.
He didn't disappoint and it won't be the last time I see him.
The
end of the festival was chaotic: a surge of Syrian proportions pushed
me straight out of the tent and towards an exit that I hadn't come in
through, or at least I didn't recognise it. I couldn't see the
makeshift bus terminal, and when I phoned my team they couldn't
picture where I was from my description. Heading back onto the field
was impossible. I found myself out on the Bury street trying to
figure out where I was. I knew the rest of the team would be at the
bus terminal by now, ready to head back to the city centre, but I was
so close to the tram stop that I figured it would be safer to queue
there.
I
made it back to town a good hour before the rest of my group, who'd
come back by Parklife bus and had had to queue. Two years ago, when I
last attended Parklife, the trams weren't running at all, so it looks
like there's a bit more organisation these days. I recommend full waterproofs and walking boots: it might sound like overkill but you'll definitely be dry and your feet will thank you. It's not as easy to dance, but I'd rather have limited movement than risk trenchfoot.
Parklife
2017, yeah?
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| The Programme |
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| Oh dear. Not one of my guys. |
