This week has been Loneliness Awareness Week, hosted by The Marmalade Trust. ‘Marmalade Trust is the only charity in the world specifically dedicated to raising awareness of loneliness.’
From Active Care Group: Mind UK state that some people ‘describe loneliness as the feeling we have when our need for social contact and relationships isn’t met. But loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. You may feel content without much contact with other people. Others may find this a lonely experience.’
I have short term memory difficulties, a lifelong condition. I think when you grow up trying to get to know people but forgetting the vast majority of what they tell you, it can be difficult to get close to someone, to know who someone is. You forget what people tell you about themselves. You don’t learn the social cues. You don’t pick these things up through osmosis, through life generally, like most other people do. You have to work to be normal. You have to learn to listen, to gauge people’s responses to your behaviour. To adjust and adapt to be accepted. You have to make the same social mistakes a few times.
In that way, I’ve always felt I can’t quite meet my own needs, and that connecting to people was a huge effort. To make matters worse, as I get older, my patience with people diminishes. I’ve also felt that memory difficulties, plus depression and anxiety, would put women off. People tell me this is nonsense.
I dunno. Anyway. If you’re dealing with similar issues, you should combat them. Talk to your GP. Look for a support group. Try Hub of Hope for local groups.
Independent of this (according to scientists in Iran, at least) is the issue of anxiety. Psypost reports that anxious people will focus on threat detection (the threat of being outcast socially, for example, or the threat of physical harm) but that this can be reduced through training. ‘Focusing instead on neutral stimuli’ – i.e. distracting yourself from what it is causing the anxiety – is something I’ve seen mentioned in several places over the last few months.
In other news, depressing but unsurprising: DWP admit nearly all its websites were rated ‘very high risk’ on access, and could be breaking the law, exacerbating the already outrageous waiting times to get through on the phone. But, this is what happens when you cut the budget to public services. I’ve sat on the line to DWP in the past. You really need a competent Welfare Rights officer to step in and do it for you – their phone line bypasses the queue, and they know what to say.
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