Friday, 3 August 2012


Let's have a look a the four tasks from the “A Month to 30” post. 

1) Get known through the blog 

2) Eliminate my fear of women
3) Get to grips with my memory disability. I still don’t know how best to present it to people, how best to work with it and how to stop it from preventing me from being the man I want to be. But I’m learning all the time.

4) Meet more people who like house music

1) Get known through the blog 
Blogging has been slow. I'm not uploading as often as I used to, and I've not had the stats I had before I went on holiday in May- a time whern they slumped badly. I have, however, had some awesome publicity through Twitter retweets. Here's a big thanks to this plethora of adult stars. Follower stats correct to the nearest thousand at the time of retweeting.

Karina White (13K)
Kiera King (26K)
Aiden Aspen (14K)
Maggie Green (24K)
Princess Donna (14K) (First verified account to retweet)
Kim Berlin (16K)
Kiki Daire (11K)
Presley Hart (17K)
Kelly Staxx (10K)
Tom Byron (532)
Just Charlie (869)
Lily LaBeau (25K) 
Tia Cyrus (6K)

All of this helped to push my stats up to 82K page views.
Cherie Deville (11K) gave an unusually unique response to my retweet request. Claiming she “wasn't a fan” of the blog title, she also told me that retweets should “come naturally”. “why is it so important to u? this is getting strange”, she asked. “also the name of your blog sounds like u do self help lectures or are a mentalist ;) The name should reflect the content.”

Hmm. Yes. Well. If she read much of the blog, she'd realised that the name DOES, in that respect, reflect the content.

Away from the world of naughtiness, thanks also goes to Norman D Golden II (2K), AKA Devon Butler from A Cop and a Half, for his retweet.

Yet despite all this, I'm STILL not famous. Well, there's still time to cartwheel naked through the women's beach volleyball at the London Olympics, with my blog's URL daubed on each of my limbs. If I get a train NOW.

2) Eliminate my fear of women.

It seems that Cherie DeVille is right: surely only a mentalist admits this in front of the whole world on his blog, right? What good is it to bang on about this? It'll do more harm than anything. I'll say this much- it's almost over.

3) Get to grips with my memory disability. I still don’t know how best to present it to people, how best to work with it and how to stop it from preventing me from being the man I want to be. But I’m learning all the time.

I think a penny-drop moment occurred to me having written the original “A Month To 30” post. People don't really mind that I have these difficulties. It's a much bigger deal to me than it is to anyone else. I shouldn't have to brush over it and pretend it's not there, but I also don't need to bang on about it. Just the moment somebody notices- normally when I check my phone for a reminder- briefly mention it. It's just a ridiculous school hangup that I've been carrying- a sense of guilt that comes with any mistake I made and a feeling that people will judge me. When I think of the women I've dated who did know, none of them were bothered. It might not have worked out, but it was never my memory that was the problem. Just my own self image was stopping me, due to what I thought women thought about me and my difficulties. I'd been wrong for DECADES.

Away from dating, I know how best to handle the problem in work.
  1. Make loads of notes
  2. Make sure line managers know that I'll be asking for help- and sometimes asking the same questions a few times
  3. colleagues will pick up what I'm dealing with. Tell them what it is if they ask. If they don't, I don't have to.
  4. Any time I make a diary entry for an event in the future, I record it in my paper diary and my phone calendar straight away. I don't let anything slip through the net.
I'll be uploading a post soon about how android phones can help people with memory difficulties. I'm hoping it will be one of my most helpful updates.

So the bottom line with point 3) is: don't worry. Nobody's really bothered.

It took me three decades to work that one out.

4) Meet more people who like house music

The majority of people I know who do like house music are settling down now, so a new plan is in order. I've spent a few months learning street dance at the Dance House, which has been great, but this has mostly been dance choreographed to RnB. I'm planning on looking at a few different places. I might start with Studio 25, which has House, Popping and Judo, randomly enough- three forms of movement I think are awesome.

I've had a rummage around in Manchester for house music social groups- there are seemingly none. This House class at Studio 25 could be a shining disco light in the smoke.

So. The plan is: Smash the same four goals throughout my thirties. I'm not letting any fucker stop me.

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