Nobody’s perfect. If you’re going to expect colleagues, friends and family to offer you unwavering harmony for the rest of your life, you’re deluded. You’re always going to unwillingly find something to disagree on, with anyone you meet, at some point in your life. Most of these people will generally be good individuals, and a one-off disagreement usually won’t end the friendship. But some people just make life difficult. A moment of idiosyncrasy, a lapse of self awareness or a moment of straight up disrespect from these people can make your life harder than it already is… and people who do these things tend to repeat the behaviour.
Let’s look at why.
For our own peace of mind, and as it’s a great idea to be conscious of how to avoid social pitfalls ourselves, it’s good to not be these types. How do we recognise these difficult people? And what can we do to deal with them? I don’t propose we try to fix anyone. That’s a project for themselves, if they take it on (or Coldplay does). I’ve broken the situation down into three categories of difficult people: Knobs, Twats and Cunts.
Knobs
Knobs are socially clueless, making problems for themselves, not taking responsibility to learn and improve social skills. They generally don’t negatively impact other people, but as they clown about they unwittingly undermine their own lives, garnering humour, disrespect and in some cases dismissal from their would-be mates.
Twats
Again, these people are socially clueless, but their difficult behaviour impacts on other people negatively. Maybe they talk too much, or not enough. Maybe what they think is ‘banter’ doesn’t come across as such. Maybe they ask a few too many favours, drink too much and need ‘minding’ by other people, or maybe they don’t take advice. There’s a middle ground here as it’s fair to point out what they may not have thought of, particularly if it affects you, more than once. Occasionally, it’s good to tell people what they’re doing wrong. Just be civil about it, or they’ll be accusing you of being the twat.
Cunts
Cunts are a different breed. They can frequently – and inexplicably- be very popular, and socially aware, but they’ll pick people out to abuse for their own entertainment, and the entertainment of others, going out of their way to do so. Cunts you want to avoid at all costs. The sad state of affairs is that these people frequently have lots of friends, and if you end up being their target, you really need to get away from them too. This will mean annexing yourself from their whole group. This might sound daunting, and self-isolating, and it is.
But, in 2022 you don’t need to put up with behaviours like this. It is now easier than ever to find new friends. Social events sites like Meetup and Pickle are growing in popularity, support groups like Andy’s Man Club are flourishing, and there are more than enough sports groups and evening classes out there if you’re prepared to look. Add into the mix webcam meetings available on Facebook and Zoom, and you’ll realise opportunities to meet new friends are in abundance. Trust your gut when you meet new people. You’ll soon learn to spot if someone falls into one of the above categories.
Don’t stagnate – but don’t be one of the aforementioned people either.
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