Domi-no-s Pizza

And I don't cook, either. Not as long as they still deliver pizza.
-Tiger Woods, golf player / pimp

A new Domino’s outlet has opened on Huddersfield Road in Oldham. I went to check it out, seeing as I’m providing somewhat of a local service on this here blog. The fact that I couldn’t be arsed cooking and didn’t have any food in anyway, well, that’s by the by. But how would Domino’s compare to the other heavyweights of the pizza world- the Papa Johns? The Pizza Huts? Or to the tiny-but tasty standalone venues like Manchester’s Topkapi Palace?

Badly. That’s how. The wait was overly long. The price was overly high. The pizza was overly cooked. The only saving graces were the display screens showing my pizza’s progress, with my name and product displayed for everyone in the venue to see. The orders’ statuses updated gradually from “oven” to “ready”, and slowly edged up the screen as other customers collected their food. It’s like being in Argos, but with smell-induced hunger pangs.

I sometimes find it’s the cheaper, more obscure pizza shops that don’t get advertised that have the best food. I’d probably stick with them, but I’d much rather cook it myself. It’s probably easier to buy a pizza and jam it in the oven than it is to go out again to a takeaway and wait for them to make it. It also won’t get cold if there’s no journey home.

Taps forehead knowingly. Huh? Huh? Always thinking!