Weaning Off Chocolate

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

-Matt Lauer, US TV Journalist

This blog is about improving life. Particularly mine, but hopefully it will affect a few others as well. Most of these entries are my attempts to fine tune everything I do to make me a better person. Through this blog, I've experimented with weightlifting, tried to live off the cheapest possible food, then tried to live off anything but, tried a range of exercise classes, and experimented with social media and blogging so that my blog- including write-ups of all of these experiments- get seen online by as many people as possible.

Today, I'm still looking to sharpen myself up. I have fears to conquer, skills to develop (see my cookery posts) and belief to build on. Even though some of these need working on constantly, like cooking, others I like to focus on for one month. Sometimes this is a major task, like attempting to get my blog noticed in Hollywood, or just a little gym exercise like getting the most out of your membership by trying all the classes.

At the end of November my mum bought me a Cadbury's advent calendar. Yes, I know. I'm 29. Well. I certainly have an awesome mum. As I placed it on my fireplace, an idea hit me. At the time, I was trying to cut down on chocolate, to no avail. Chocolate contains a number of addictive chemicals, but which chemicals scientists are still trying to nail down.

An addiction- which, I suppose, I've got- implies a dependency on a certain chemical or chemicals. If I was to stop eating chocolate right now, my hands would itch, I'd lose concentration, I'd be tired permanently and eventually I'd just give up and buy a gluttonous 400g bar of Dairy Milk and smash the lot. And feel sickeningly guilty. Then repeat the cycle. (Writing this is making me want to nip to Tesco right now. Shit...)

I managed to go without chocolate for about 6 weeks back in 2008. It was hard. After the 5^th week, though, the cravings started to die off and I was enjoying eating more healthily- particularly meat- and was doing well at the gym. I was also, for the first time ever, doing pretty well with girls. I think there's a connection. On one memorable date, though, a girl took me to a bar with a chocolate fountain. I fell back in again. To addiction, I mean. Not the fountain.

I'm not going to cut chocolate out completely this month. Through December so far, I've eaten only a tiny bite-size drop of chocolate per day, from my advent calendar, normally first thing in the morning. I'm hoping this constant drip-feed of chocolate will be regular and small enough to “wean” me off. I'm not buying any more than this, and the only other chocolate I'll have will be powdered, with hot milk (insomnia remedy). I'm obviously a fair way into the challenge right now (forgetfulness- I thought of this in November) but...

Provided nobody buys me any chocolate for Christmas, I will be able to cut it out for the foreseeable future.

The goals:

1. Improvement to strength and cardio at the gym.
2. Better concentration in work and with blogging/creative writing
3. Calmer frame of mind overall, in work, with family and with friends, and when meeting new people.
4. To generally man up, stop being a bitch and stop eating women's food all the time. For Christ's sake!
5. I might even, as Lauer seems to suggest, find myself remembering a little more. You never know.

I'm doing pretty good so far. For anyone thinking they eat too much chocolate, the run-up to Christmas is the perfect time to start cutting down, contrary to what you might expect. I'll blog again in a month to see whether I'm still plagued with chocoholism.