Alan Ford came up 25th from London to Newcastle, got a curry. The city, he tells us, was always known for pretty girls.
I concur. I, on the other hand, got up at 6am on Saturday 26th and drove up, getting to the Utilita Arena just in time for the opening of the doors and the start of Comic Con North East. There was a bit of stress at that point when I realised Ticketquarter hadn’t actually sent me my tickets, but my name was on their system for both entrance and photo, so there were no issues.
83-year-old Ford is possibly best known as cockney hard man Brick Top from Guy Ritchie’s 2000 gangster movie Snatch.
But we’ll get into that.
The compare tells us Newcastle still has that aesthetic reputation (he’s right). Then we dive into Ford’s screen roles.
COMPARE: Between movies and TV, is there a different approach?
AF: No. For stage there is, but not screen.
The mic goes out to the audience, where we start with American Werewolf in London, the 1981 horror comedy.
AF: Good memory! I drive the taxi to Trafalgar Square. The transformation into the werewolf (that David Naughton’s David is subjected to) was the best on film. The director (John Landis) wasn’t known at the time; I just thought it was ‘another film.’
COMPARE: Must be tough.
AF: No, when they’re not offering work, *that’s* tough.
COMPARE: You seem to do a lot of gangster roles.
AF: In theatre I’ve done all sorts, but better to be typecast than not cast. I like doing other stuff. They pay me to be Brick Top. I’m not complaining. Lock Stock and Snatch were next to each other (1998 and 2000 respectively).
An audience member admits he was too young to be watching Lock Stock and Snatch when they first saw it.
AF: Young lads who weren’t born when those films came out, they ask me to swear at them.
COMPARE: Can you do it now?
AF: Thank you for being here, but you’re a cunt. You never know how they’re gonna take it, but they take it well.
Ford has a history of working with Guy Ritchie throughout the late 90s and 00s.
AF: I met Guy Ritchie on Lock Stock, and auditioned for him. He told me to do another scene, so I did, then he changed it again. I said, I can’t be fucked about. So they stuck with the first one. But scene when it had to be on film was going to be 4 hours long.
There is a director’s cut online. (I found this 2 hr version.)
COMPARE: What is it about the gangster genre that attracts people?
AF: Lock Stock kicked it off, 27 years ago.
(I would argue Reservoir Dogs did 5 years before that.)
AF: I’m still getting a living off it.
COMPARE: You grew up in that (London) world. You knew those characters.
AF: I grew up south of the river (Thames). The Richardson Brothers (rivals to The Kray Twins) were around. The guys you saw had a way of walking and talking.
As it happens, Eddie Richardson died last month.
The mic goes out to the audience.
AUDIENCE QUESTION: Was there any role that you were passed over for?
AF: Fucking thousands of them. I watch stuff thinking, I could have done that!
COMPARE: Was there a role in particular?
AF: I don’t want to fucking think about it! I love doing comedy. I worked with Steve Coogan. I did The Darling Buds of May with David Jason. I’d sold a guy a boat but it was half sank in the canal. I played a dame in pantomime, which is nothing like me. The key is being good at what you’re offered. Once I did Snatch, directors will say ‘do you want to put your own spin on it?’ But on Snatch, every line was written by Guy Ritchie.
AQ: Do you prefer being someone different?
AF: I like being away from myself. I wouldn’t take writing away from someone, even if it’s bad.
COMPARE: With TV, is there less room to manoeuvre?
AF: 2 years ago I was in Eastenders. There, there was less wiggle room. There was an offer that came to me. I did 1 episode in the 80s when it started, with Wendy Richard. I wanted to do a part with Barbara Windsor. I was supposed to be her boyfriend. It was a good thing I didn’t because Lock Stock and Snatch came up. Then I got Eastenders for the role of Billy Mitchell’s dad.
COMPARE: Soaps are like ‘fast movies.’ Which do you prefer?
AF: I’ve grown up with movies, so I prefer the pace. The pace of soaps was too much. I’d come back for a family wedding though.
COMPARE: How does 88-year-old Alan Ford fill his time?
AF: I write. I wrote a novel 20 years ago, based on true events. My favourite time is sitting in the pub with other actors, chatting, who’s sleeping with who. I’ve an idea to write a novel with all these anecdotes, all happening to 1 character.
COMPARE: Any advice for actors?
AF: Don’t have another string to your bow. If you wanna be an actor, be an actor. “I’m doing this. Fuck everything else.”
COMPARE: What’s next?
AF: I’ve just had a big disappointment. Some producers were doing an animated comedy on a rough estate. I was the grandmother. The BBC turned it down. I hope it moves on. We’re all a bit sick of BBC, aren’t we?
Yes.
COMPARE: Anything you haven’t done that you’d like to?
AF: I’ve done the dancing, the criminals, Bergerac. I love doing comedy with Steve Coogan.
After the Q+A came the photo op. I was the last in the queue. Ford got us to laugh on cue. What a character!
Small but fun con. I wasn’t familiar with any of the other guests, but here’s what the rest of it looked like…
 |
| Road Runner set |
 |
| South Park set |
 |
| Return of the Jedi set |
 |
| Trader area |
 |
| Toy Story set |
