The
moment Dario G's Carnaval De Paris blasts out of the
speakers, you can feel the anticipation in the air. Something great
is about to happen. A man on spring-loaded stilts bounds down the
middle of the sold-out Manchester Central,
one of the biggest venues in the city, somersaulting half way down. I
grab a pizza from the oven stand in the corner, while the queue is
small. My mate spots Georgia May Foote,
formerly Katie Armstrong in
Corrie and before that
Alison Simmons in Grange Hill.
I
queue up for a drink, which takes longer than it took for the pizza
to cook.
But
before you know it, Johnny Bongo, dressed like a
circus ringmaster, takes the stage with his 2 cross-dressing
assistants. It's time to play Bongo's Bingo. This, however, is not
your average bingo game. For the next 2 hours, we'll hear numbers
called out, resulting in lucky individuals winning much-coveted
luxury items, like a space hopper (demonstrated on stage to the sound
of House of Pain's Jump Around), a collection of
Disney princess dolls, a £100 McDonalds order and a Henry Hoover
(held aloft to the opening bars of Karl Orff's Carmina Burana). As the calls are
screamed across the giant hall, more prizes are dished out to lucky
winners... and when Johnny starts throwing double cheeseburgers into
the audience, some people don't need a line to be a winner.
The
cash prizes, which go up to a grand, require the extra hurdle of a
'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'-style multiple choice question. Some
of these are stupidly easy, some stupidly hard (if you ask me). Some
win, some don't. That's bingo.
Before
the final game, we take a break from the numbers for a nice,
relaxing... TECHNO RAVE. The assistants launch the glowsticks across
the convention centre, which people wave enthusiastically to the
sounds of Alice Deejay.
We're
sat down for the final game, the grand is given away, and, at last,
out comes special guest Kelis in
cycling shorts and shell suit jacket (looking strangely, if you ask
me, like a hot Oprah Winfrey).
A
brilliant performance, as I'm sure you'll agree. (Not-so-brilliant
camerawork shot on a past-it Xperia and hampered by me being a
short-arse.) The tickets were about £27 a pop, but you're getting a
hit RnB concert in with a wacky game of bingo, and you can pay a hell
of a lot more at the Manchester Arena and only get one of those. A
fair price, if you ask me. What a great night.
2
meetup groups came to this: Manchester Cool Bars
and Young Professionals in Manchester.
Get involved: we will be back at Bongo's Bingo!
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