Saturday, 3 August 2019

A Few Psychology-Related Minor Catastrophes


Life is difficult when you have memory difficulties. It may throw minor problems at you, like combs disappearing from your house, meaning you go out to buy more, only for one of them to reappear. (Where the other original one is I still don't know.) Or it could be, you went for a meal with support group Andy's Man Club, to The Blue Tiffin in Oldham. You forgot what you ordered, and almost saw your meal go back to the kitchen when you realised the tandoori mixed grill was yours. Or it could be more serious ones, like forgetting to move your car so the council can't resurface your road, meaning your neighbour has to contact your work's switchboard to get in touch with you, and you have to leave work to move it. They had sent me a letter. I'd put a reminder in my phone and paper diary, but of course I didn't see either of them that morning.

Last Saturday threw yet another curveball: I'd used up all of my data about a week prior to this, and my reset time was midnight that night. I had been in contact with a Meetup group called Socially Awkward, who describe themselves as 'A friendly, welcoming, non-judgmental social group for people who struggle with any form of anxiety or depression.' Sounds great, but they run most of their meetups in The Moon Under the Water, a chav-laiden hellhole on Deansgate, and a loud, noisy affair completely unsuitable for people with anxiety. The group has 7 and a half thousand members, but hardly anyone goes to the meetups. Obviously, they aren't picking the right venues. In the group discussion page, I described this to them, and suggested some street challenges: a chance to practice approaching people and striking up conversations. We agreed on a time and place- Piccadilly Gardens at 11am, nowhere near any major shops or bars- and I set off to meet them.

Of course, having no data meant I couldn't check the Meetup page, and Meetup is an 18+ site so local WiFi spots wouldn't let me on. I was stood right outside the coffee shop meeting point, looking pensive, looking for other people who might be part of the group. I asked a few people, but they had no idea what I was talking about. The only person to approach me was, typically, a drug dealer. Piccadilly Gardens is a hotspot for this, which is another reason why this area is not where I would have chosen. I gave up and went home. When I got back on my computer there were a few messages on the page saying people had been there, but the rain caused them to cut it short.

None of them thought to approach me.

Granted, my data running out was the issue there, and I could have asked for a member's number so I could link up. But whatever- they could have organised this a lot better. I won't be involved with Socially Awkward any more. Even the name carries negative connotations. You can't walk up to people you don't recognise, and ask, 'socially awkward?' in the hope that they're part of the group and that they won't assume you're assessing their character. If I was to start a similar meetup I'd call it 'Manchester Confidence Building,' or something else positive- something about where we're trying to get to and not where we're stuck.

I'm still using the Xperia X, which is way over 2 years old now. I need to buy another Xperia, but a lot of them are either out of stock or have notable faults, like overheating, weak batteries or unreliable cameras. But the consensus is that people who switch from Sony phones to Samsung or other brands are usually disappointed, and psychology professionals have usually advised me to stick to what I know. So it's looking like the 10, the XZ or the XZ2.

More psychology-related info next week.

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