I Finished the CBD

Way back in 2019, before the clusterfuck of the pandemic and the vaccine rollout, I was attending Go PR’s launch parties and influencer dinners. I don’t seem to receive those invites these days; not entirely sure why. 

Anyway, one of the last events before lockdown was the launch of Cancalm, a CBD company. CBD, or cannabinoid oil, ‘is the second most prevalent active ingredient in cannabis… One of hundreds of components in marijuana, CBD does not cause a "high" by itself. To date, there is no evidence of public health related problems associated with the use of pure CBD.’ - Harvard Health Publishing. 

I bought a bottle of CBD at the launch, intending to start taking these to see if these would reduce symptoms of social anxiety. I managed to use it just before a few nights out, throughout the end of 2019 and into the start of 2020. 

Then COVID hit. 

Being in lockdown was pretty chilled for me TBH: I was an essential worker, so my money was the same. I had books to read. I was just stressed about relatives getting ill. People breaching the lockdown was an issue for me, and I lost some friends because of that. I stand by my criticisms, though. I don’t care what you were protesting: going out in groups when 100 people a day were dying of COVID was hugely selfish behaviour. But it wasn’t worth using up the CBD when there was no particular challenge to my mental health. 

Eventually, the vaccine came along, and steadily throughout 2021, the country got back to some semblance of normal. Trouble was, a good number of people – that I had formed good friendships with – turned out to be anti-vaxx. I tried to talk to them, but they weren’t having it. They believed total falsehoods and spread content over socials from far-right politicians and journalists, until eventually I lost my patience and blocked them. I’ve trawled through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter this month, cutting people out. 

Since the lockdown was lifted, it’s been really difficult to rekindle friendships or make new ones, as many of the people I would have gone out with are still going out themselves with anti-vaxxers and flagrant lockdown breachers. 

I guess we all have different morals. 

This year, I’ve made a concerted effort to find social events and to meet new people, but there’s been so little that I’ve genuinely wanted to do. So the CBD bottle sat on my bedroom drawers. 

September rolled around, and it was time for a new challenge. I wanted to see if, with CBD, there was any improvement to memory or anxiety. I took a drop of Cancalm daily. After a month, I wrote up how little had changed. But I kept taking the Cancalm until it ran out, which it did this week. 

Any changes? I dunno. It’s harder than ever to challenge myself socially. So many people are either broke, anti-vaxx (including, sadly, the Cancalm CEO herself), too busy or have moved away. Or, I have so little in common with them that it’s hardly worth trying to socialise with them. Plus, it’s winter now, and the idea of going out in the freezing cold when people are at their poorest doesn’t appeal – not to me, nor anyone else, seemingly. I managed to get to one meetup in November. A few club nights over the months. 

But no, I don’t rate CBD. Better to change thought processes consciously – through reading, learning, or speaking to the medical experts – than by putting something in your body.