Come check out the new History club

This is a message he has for your people: "you are history!" Fucking history.

-Gold Tooth, Predator 2

New club History has opened on Longworth St behind Deansgate, in the unit that once housed Suede and Ampersand. It is of course the duty of Manchester Cool Bars to go check it out! We're there Saturday night, so don't hesitate and get involved with the Meetup. We're starting in nearby Impossible on Peter St.

Last week's grand opening saw Emmerdale's Gemma Atkinson, Bury model Rhian Sugden (who will be on the next season of Celebrity Big Brother), Coronation St's Brooke Vincent and Jimmi Harkishin partying there. Next week- who knows, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of the attendees are Twitter verified. Come with us and find out.

Back on Android at Long Last

Where my Android fans at? Goddamn, I've missed this platform. My 2 and a bit excruciating years on a Windows phone are over, and I'm now the proud user of a Sony Xperia X. I'm in the process of figuring out all the admin for it- passwords, downloading apps, finding a decent screen cover- but most importantly, looking for note taking systems for memory difficulties.

It's my intention to highlight a few hints and tips for people with these conditions, people like me, who would benefit from information about such apps and techniques. I've downloaded ColorNote, but this lacks some of the features provided by Microsoft's OneNote, like the automated lifting of new and altered notes to the top of the screen. Vice versa, OneNote allows the inclusion of pictures within the text, a feature lacking on ColorNote.

So what else is there?

There are a variety of apps available like those listed on advice site Make Use Of, listing programs which offer various features. I'm quite keen on the ability to list notes in importance order and insert pictures into bodies of text. Omninotes certainly sounds like a good shout.

It's early days and I've not even transferred my number across but this is something I'd like to write more about as the weeks go on, so keep checking back for #psychologysaturdays blog posts, and comment if you have any other good finds on memory assistance and organisation apps!

Surprise surprise...

...a cockney wide-boy with a dodgy haircut won Love Island. Not at all like last year, then?

Well, it's over now, and we should probably all get back to the real world. And what is there?

The Warehouse Project has released their 2017 lineup: There's a good handful of decent names, so there's a possibility that some of these nights may end up on Meetup. You'll have to check as the weeks go on. Quite keen on seeing Route 94 myself.

New club History launches on Saturday, in the Longworth St unit that previously housed Suede and Ampersand. I'm tied that night, but expect a night out there to appear on Manchester Cool Bars soon. Be ready to join!

Grit and Glamour launch in Neighbourhood

A new season started in Neighbourhood this week with Thursday night's Grit and Glamour launch. The Spinningfields bar's new touches include a vibrant graffiti-style mural and some blazing neon signage. I went with Manchester Cool Bars to take a look. Great house music, friendly people including many promoters from other nights, and a very drunk Adam Jukes from Love Island season 2, who insisted on telling me I was 'a nice guy.' His words, not mine. HE was the nice guy. I was the celebrity-pesterer.

Tom DaLips and Kami C livened up the house music with awesome sax and bongo accompaniment.

It's well worth popping back in to see the new fit.

Goin' Loco Down in, Um, Manchester.

God, my head is pounding. I eat way too late on Mondays. Anyway. The main event this week is on a Friday. Manchester Cool Bars are headed to Loco, Club LIV's Friday night party. All the class of a Saturday without the huge prices. I've not been on a Friday in ages, but the pictures from previous events- and the drinks deals- are tempting me in. How about you?

STOP PRESS: I met Dom and Jess from Love Island.

I will allow you a moment to come to terms with that. Uber-famous stars of groundbreaking high-art docu-drama Love Island S3, Dom Lever and Jess Shears dropped into Voodoo  Birdcage Manchester, on Wednesday Night. It was a bit of a rushed meet with a large queue, but they seemed cool. I didn't have time to ask them who they think would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger, as gossip E-mag Popbitch so frequently wants to know.

I downloaded this pic fast as photos from clubs sometimes seem to disappear for some reason.

After I'd been up to meet them I got talking to some young bloke who'd been in the queue ahead of me.

“I just said to her," he said, "'I tear the head off over you.'” He made the international wanking sign. She'd apparently responded by flexing her little finger in a 'small cock' gesture.

Great night, although the club could do with a bit of air con.

Minor subject change here, but doesn't home secretary Amber Rudd look like Francine from American Dad?

Well- I've done it. I've told O2 to do one.

I've told extortionists O2 that I've got a phone and I'm ending my contract. It's not exactly true.

My contract will end on the 28th, and I STILL have no replacement phone, but I've at least homed in on a few handsets- the Xperia XA Ultra, the Xperia C4 and the Samsung Galaxy J7.

The cameras are hugely important when you have memory difficulties. Pictures hold memories that you otherwise wouldn't have, and when a lot of your life's most interesting moments happen in darkened clubs, it's necessary to have a decent light on front and back cameras. It turns out that the light I've seen pour out of Android and iPhone screens are actually downloadable apps that light up the display in white. This changes everything.

Generally speaking, most advisers with knowledge of memory difficulties (i.e. NHS neuropsychology and head injury charity Headway) will tell you to stick with what you know. Before I got this ridiculous Windows phone, I'd been on Android for four and a half years. Making that change was an impulsive mistake, and I believe that it's now vitally important to go back to Android, where I had comparatively few problems.

It's taking way too long to choose. I'm reminded of Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography Total Recall, where he advises acting impulsively to move forward in your life.

Don’t overthink. If you think all the time, the mind cannot relax. The key thing is to let both the mind and the body float. And then when you need to make a decision or hit a problem hard, you’re ready with all of your energy.

By not analyzing everything, you get rid of all the garbage that loads you up and bogs you down. Turning off your mind is an art. It’s a form of meditation.

That said, I acted impulsively 2 years ago and ended up with a phone and contract that I was locked into that was completely inappropriate, and cost me a friendship with the person who worked at Carphone Warehouse. So, nothing's black and white.

However, the Ultra was a handset I picked out some weeks ago. After deliberation and looking at loads of other phones, it's still one of the best options. And considering I've been advised to stick to what I know, I may as well go for the Ultra.

Don't overthink!