There
comes a moment for some when you realise your obsession with
celebrity has gone too far.
For
me, that was Friday, 30th September in WHSmiths in
Manchester’s Arndale Centre. I was in a queue: a big queue full of
teenage girls and -presumably gay- teenage boys. I was going to meet
Dannii Minogue.
Dannii,
pop star, sister of Kylie, current X Factor judge, and actress was
springboarded to fame by Aussie soap Home and Away. She’s since had
20 years worth of reasonable success in pop, although I can’t name
a single one of her songs.
Dannii
was in town signing her new book, My Style. I got one of the last
wristbands to allow entry to the signing. The queue was sloooowwww.
Most of us were sat on the floor of the Arndale walkway for hours. My
arse went numb. I read a huge chunk of James Ellroy’s Blood’s a
Rover. A lady from WHSmiths dished out cupcakes so we didn’t resort
to cannibalism.
It
occurred to me, sat on the hard marble floor surrounded by girls half
my age, that I had some shit to address. Why am I so obsessed with
celebrity? I don’t know Dannii Minogue’s music. I hate soaps. X
Factor is terrible. Why am I drawn to famous people? And why Dannii?
Not to mention- the book is a largely photo-based description of
women’s fashion! I need. To confront. This obsession.
A
plan: If I can give my blog card to Neil Strauss, Danny Dyer and Pete
Burns, I can give it to Dannii Minogue. Hi Dannii. I’m a
blogger, and I bang on about all the celebrities I meet. I also write
about this city. How are you finding it here?
The
queue crawled forward. Butts shuffled sideways. I got through the
door. Her bodyguard clocked me- this guy’s straight. He kept
a firm eye on me.
She
signs the book. The girl from Smiths takes our picture. There’s a
pause. I lock eyes with Dannii. She keeps smiling to mask how nervous
she clearly suddenly feels.
Then I
thank her and walk off.
Damn.
An
afterthought: why didn’t I get it signed to my sister? She’d have
appreciated it. And it would be one less Christmas present to buy. I
always think of these things too late. But on a more positive note,
how fit is Dannii?!
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