Goddamn, I'm hungover. I drank a stunning amount of alcohol at mine and my mate's birthday bash in Northern Quarter bar Guilty last night. But before I get into that outrageous scenario, I want to mention another absurdity from Friday night, where we dropped into the sold-out Bongo's Bingo at the Albert Hall.
Johnny Bongo, host of the bizarre and hilarious bingo game, calls out the numbers and dishes out prizes for correct numbers, assisted by his two cross-dressing aides Sweaty Betty and Slutty Sue. Prizes increase in value from a pigeon head, through a unicorn onesie, up to £600.
Before the numbers can be called, the fat suit needs to be taken off- it's one of the prizes. He strips out of it to Nelly's Hot In Here, and pours a can of cider over himself in his boxer shorts. Then it's eyes down for more numbers.
You find as the numbers are called that your card gets really full- just before 'bingo' is called, you'll be so close to winning, as will everyone else, that the tension is hanging in the air. (Or maybe that's the smoke machines that will go off in the break when the UV rave begins.)
Absolutely hilarious. Events also take place in Liverpool, Birmingham, The Edinburgh Fringe Festival and Leeds.
Last night's info will have to come later- I am in no fit state.