Sunday, 25 September 2016

Some highs and lows of Manchester nightlife

“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.”
-Benjamin Franklin, American scientist

A quick whip-up of events from this week: I mentioned a little experiment that had started to pay off when I met someone in Panacea. I went on a date with her, but she said we were “too different.” She was right, but I never got the impression she liked me that much in the first place (aside from sucking my face off in the club). Well. Moving swiftly on.

This week was Freshers Week in Manchester. The students have returned and Manchester's midweek party scene has taken its annual shot of adrenaline. I went out on Friday night to sample some of this, but first we met in the lobby of Beetham Tower on Deansgate and queued to get into the bar in the sky, Cloud 23.

The queue at reception on the ground floor was long, but the waiting area itself is lovely with comfy seats and chilled house music at a low decibel level.

We were taken up in the lift and to the bar, and shown a seating area, where I checked the “Blue Sky Drinking” section of the menu. (My car was parked 2 streets- and 23 floors- down.) It's not cheap: I paid £5.50 for a small hot chocolate. I'm also not impressed with the inclusion of a service charge. But the view was the main attraction. On the whole: a good experience and well worth a look on a clear day.

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

A photo posted by Matt Tuckey (@matttuckey) on

We then took a look at the ironically-named Orderly Conduct, a night at nearby Ark on Deansgate Locks. The queue was just forming when we arrived, at which point the doorman felt the need to tell us it was “loud,” like we're all middle aged (we're all thirty-somethings, but, come on).

It was much busier than a standard weekend night. By a quarter to twelve the two-floor club was full. Manchester's students are the only people with the money to go out, it seems. I like orderly conduct in one way- it's full of gorgeous girls and Ark itself is nice enough, but there were a lot of obnoxious students in there: no manners, women who think they're too good, cocky 18-year-old lads with chips on their shoulders.

I graduated 11 years ago. I don't remember there being that many good looking women in Deansgate Locks back then. Not during the week, at least. I also don't remember seeing drunk girls being scooped off the floor and escorted out of the fire exit. I'll tell you what has caused this.

The introduction of top-up fees has meant that only people from the richest families can afford to go to university. Now student nights are populated by snobs of both genders. The lads, of course, are determined not to be typecast as privileged pretty-boys, so they take every opportunity to kick off (and get turfed out by security). The girls have the money to get as destroyed as they like off cheap (ish) booze. It seems like students are the only people with money to go out any more.

Had a bit too much, have we? You're one of a few, love.

I might be back.

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