I'm
trying to find the middle ground between eating within a strict
healthy diet, to which I always fail, and binging on takeaways and
400g bars of Galaxy. I've made many attempts, detailed on this blog,
to get back into the shape I was in in 2010.
I
was 28, though, getting my mum's healthy cooking and still riding off
the back of years of Muay Thai training, which had left me with an
incredible physique. I'm now 36, turning 37 in a month, 25kg heavier,
hammering weights and cooking my own food, with variable levels of
fat in each meal. At the time, I could eat a cheat meal once in a
while, and it wouldn't have much of an effect on me. My weight would
stay constant and I still had a 6-pack.
I
moved out in November that year, and within weeks that toned stomach
had gone for good. Year by year, the gym work I did put more and more
bulk muscle onto me, but it came with more and more fat on top of it.
A
couple of years ago, after numerous bouts of neuropsychology,
counselling and psychotherapy, I caved in and started a course of
antidepressants. I'm now on 30 mg Mirtazapine.
A
couple of weeks ago I was sat in TGI Fridays on Cross St Manchester, with
a group of mates I met through Meetup. The waiter came over to ask us if we wanted to take a look at the
dessert menu. Of course we did. I ended up hammering a sticky toffee
pudding and ice cream, to the point where I could burst. It dawned on
me at that moment that I would never be able to stick to clean
eating, but that there was one way of making things fair.
It
all starts in the supermarket. If I just buy clean food, plenty of
veg, no chocolate, no pre-made food like microwave meals or pizzas,
but raw ingredients, then I'm only going to eat healthily. When I'm
out with mates, which is every couple of weeks or so, I might drink
or have food. And at those times, I can treat myself. Buy healthily
alone, eat treats socially. Social dieting. And considering I rarely
eat socially, the rule of thumb should result in me losing a few
kilos in the next month.
Last
time I weighed myself, Tuesday, I was 86.7kg. I'm aiming for 80 dead
on, and aiming to get back into some trousers I haven't been able to
wear for ages. This starts today...
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